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Summer is here again, which means your allergies are going to get better and, once again, you’re going to be expected to look good on the beach. In the heat of the summer, it’s important to have summer plans other than crying into your drink of choice about your current job. You need ambitious plans, plans that will take you far away from your desk and the horrible reports it has in store for you. A road trip is just what the doctor ordered.
The great thing about a summer road trip is that it doesn’t have a set schedule outside of the time you take off of work. You have a destination and a start point. You aren’t rushing to a conference, a family reunion, or a major theme park. It’s all about enjoying your time off on the open road with some friends of questionable personal maturity. By the way, choose the least mature friends you have–your ultimate goal is a remake of “Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay.” These should be the kind of friends Hollywood would cast in a real life version of “The Hangover.” This is also a good time to get life insurance if you don’t have it already.
If you’re questioning why you should leave the relative comfort and normality of your cube for the dangerous unknown of the American Interstate system (which is pretty scary, especially in New Jersey) then that is simply another reason for you to go. How often does your life have uncertainty or danger in it? The answer is almost certainly not enough, and that means you need to take advantage of it whenever you can. You never know what wonders you’ll find as you make your way to your destination. You could also end up accidentally getting lost in Appalachia, but that’s a risk we must all be willing to take when looking for adventure in our mid-twenties.
So, what should your road trip consist of? At the very least, you’ll need to drive no less than 800 miles. Anything less than that is a day trip, and day trips are for people who half-ass life. You aren’t that person. Your route should have a nice mix of cities and country and a destination with awesome things to do, like Vegas, New Orleans, or Atlantic City. When presented with opportunities to make bad, borderline illegal decisions, you should take them. You should spend time tanning on the beach and taking in sights. Basically, you should have as much fun with as little stress as possible, unless that stress is running away from a strip club bouncer because you got a little too friendly with one of his employees after her shift was over. That’s totally acceptable. Along the way, you should stop and check out places that interest you instead of flying down the highway at 90 mph right past them. Sometimes the weirdest distractions make for the best times.
It’s important that we take these trips when we’re young and don’t have kids. They’re a great way to enjoy life while avoiding the inevitable responsibility that life wants to drop on us, turning us into boring old people. Road trips are a great reminder of all the crazy shit we did in college and why we went into our field of choice in the first place. So, take a week off, get out there, and have some fun. What’s the worst that could happen?