At some point during our postgrad life, a few of the lines get blurred. We are slowly but surely becoming our parents with each and every passing day.
Things change as we get older.
Our drinking habits are far cries from what they once were. We attempt to be quasi-responsible adults. We actually buy nice gifts for the people we care about because we can no longer keep up with the notion that we are but poor, tired, college students who can barely afford Ramen. And, at some point, we start to date outside of the box.
I have never been one to view the already-been-hitched as fair game. Even less so if there’s a child involved. “I’m too young to be a stepmom,” I would think to myself. But what age is old enough to be a stepmom? Is there an actual age where, when you become it, you can add it as a qualification to your LinkedIn account? “Old enough to be a stepparent, August 2014-present.”
This guy has already been married, he’s already had a kid, and he’s already been divorced. He’s basically lived an entire life. There’s a lot to take into account as you make this decision, but not all of it is negative. In fact, there are some excellent positives.
1. He is clearly not a commitment-phobe.
This guy has already been married. He’s already taken that great leap of faith into matrimonial bliss. It may have burned him, but how many times have you given up on pizza just because you scorched the roof of your mouth? Essentially, this is the same concept. You don’t have to worry about if he’s going to pop the question one day–it’s just a matter of when, if you play your cards right (or, you know, you’re into that whole marriage thing). And tack on 10 points for the fact that he’s already got his first marriage out of the way. It’s society’s world, we just live in it.
2. He has proven himself to be a responsible adult.
At this point in my postgrad life, I try to be a seemingly responsible, mature adult. I try to pay my bills on time, I try to save back a few bucks, and I attempt to get my oil changed before the 7,000 mile mark that I am accustomed. Like most species, I look for similar traits and qualities when searching for a partner, and, as luck would have it, kids are a fairly large responsibility. Sure, there are those guys with their neck tattoos and McDonald’s jobs who get to see baby Paizleigh Marie once a blue moon when a jury allows it, but, we’re thinking on the positive side of things here. Sometimes shit just doesn’t work out, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. At our age, there are the responsible dads out there who take care of their kids, their bills, their savings accounts, and their vehicle engines. Put ‘em in, coach.
3. How he treats his child(ren) says a lot.
How a man treats his own child speaks volumes for how he’s going to treat you, and a helluva lot more about how he’s going to treat your kids, present or future. I don’t give a fuck what your daddy issues are–that should mean something to you. If a man doesn’t give a shit about his own flesh and blood, he’s probably not going to care too much about you. But, seeing a man who would do anything for his son or daughter, rain or shine, come Hell or high water, means you’ve found a man who is capable of caring about more than how he’s going to take care of his unexpected work boner, or whether or not he’s going to beat some random 12-year-old kid in Ghosts tonight. Also, fewer things will make a girl’s legs spread faster than seeing a man be fucking adorable with a little kid.
4. There are definite perks when it comes to dating a man with a child.
You want to watch “Frozen”? Watch it with his kid. You want to belt out “Let It Go” in the car? Grab the kid, go get fro-yo, and belt it out on the way. Not only do you get cool points with the kid, but you get fro-yo. Nobody loses and you are well on your way to being the cool stepmom. Congratulations, slugger.
(Disclaimer: Probably works best on daughters. As a contingency plan for sons, may I suggest “Man of Steel” because Henry Cavill, and “Turn Down for What” because I’ve yet to meet a man who doesn’t get excited about that song.)