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The debate on whether or not ‘ghosting’ and ‘haunting’ is acceptable is not nearly hot enough right now. On this very site alone, multiple articles have been published about why it is a terrible thing to do. I’m here to fight the good fight and call you all what you are — soft.
In an age where meeting someone is as simple as a swipe to the right and keeping connected to everyone we’ve ever known is as easy as a short text, why must we keep to the formal communication methods that came before us? I currently have 47 unread texts on my phone and 15 unwatched Snapchats. Sure, I’ll get around to them, but, then again, I probably won’t since some of those texts are months old or a part of a completely dead group thread. That’s fine, though.
How can you be so upset about someone not texting you back? Are you a fourth grader who just sent an IM to your crush? It’s absolutely impossible for me to imagine that everyone sends a text with the expectation that you will get a response every time. Relationships end and the need for closure and feedback is one that comes from a generation who can’t wrap their heads around someone not liking them. Everyone doesn’t like everyone, that’s just the way it is. It’s true that you should be able to be civil with everyone you are around. No one needs the dude who starts talking shit or takes something too seriously and throws a punch, but that doesn’t mean that every single person you’ve ever been on a date with deserves a face to face sit down of why the two parties involved are not syncing up.
Your boss deserves an explanation of why that report was late because he pays you money to do things. You actually signed a contract implying that you need to communicate with that person on how things are going. There was no contract with the girl you met at Panera and then saw naked a week later. If a girl doesn’t text me back and I was picking up what she was throwing down prior to that no response, well, I’ll just go ahead and chalk it up as a loss and move on with my day. From what I can gather, these qualms aren’t around multi-month relationships where everyone was already in with the parents, this is ending a casual thing casually. If you thought it was something more after just a few weeks, then you have some serious problems you need to deal with.
Life is fluid; things change every single day. Some of our friends from college who wore camo and dipped every twenty minutes now live in Brooklyn and wear skinny jeans. It happens, and it’s fine. Things don’t always last forever and change does not always come with an epiphany and a long Facebook status. This life is yours to live and you should absolutely focus on what makes you happy. So go ahead and ghost and take a ghosting in stride, no one is being a douchebag or a bitch on purpose.
There are way more important things to focus on than why someone didn’t text you back. .
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The sheer thought of 47 unread texts makes my anxious … just clear them please so I can sleep tonight
If you’re seeing someone for a few weeks and then you wake up and don’t feel it, it’s not really ghosting, it’s just life. But imagine how much fun you’d have if you created a life with someone for decades and bought assets together and then one day you just wake up and pretend to go to work but instead you just ghost out of your own existence and go on a binge of riverboat gambling, drugs, and shoestring travel vacations. It’s the new American Dream.
Dad?
If you can’t find the ten seconds it takes to send a text that more or less says, “I’m not sure this is going to work, best of luck,” then you’re a douche. People don’t deserve a play by play assessment and critique of why it didn’t work, but it’s just polite to make sure both of you know the current situation.
Also, if you’re ghosting, you’re totally being a douchebag on purpose. You saw the message, and rather than address it, you ignored it. Which is a total douchebag thing to do.
Came here to say this. That said, is it Ghosting if both people sort of stop texting simultaneously? Feel like it shouldn’t have the same negative connotation.
No ghosting generally implies that the other person reaches out and tries to talk to you and you just ignoring it. Otherwise, I consider it just petering out naturally.
Yeah, but we need to hash out our football season plans so text back Vers. There are deadlines for tickets to make.
The debate needs to be based on how well you know them/ time period. I don’t think anyone is disagreeing about one date.
As somebody who has previously ghosted, I gotta say, not ghosting and just pulling the plug feels way better.
And then there’s no chance that I’ll drunkenly wind up at their place because I had a few too many when they texted me Friday night.
The people who think it’s bullshit to leave someone hanging and are willing to deal with confrontation are soft? But being a man-baby that can’t take two seconds to give someone the courtesy of ending something is cool? Ok…
If she swallows my kids then I for sure need to know why I can’t get a 5 word reply.
Damn, just Ghosted a post.
This isn’t he 1920s, it’s not like you wrote someone a letter and you are checking the mailbox everyday. If someone doesn’t write you back get over it and move on.
Because as we all know, after the Roaring 20’s, courtesy and being a decent person went out the window.