======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
In the hierarchy of “Events I’d Rather Not Attend” it goes 1.) A Funeral 2.) A Baby shower 3.) Everything else. Needless to say, I was thrilled to receive an office-wide email about a baby shower that HR is throwing for one of my coworkers.
First of all, I’d like to know if this is a common occurrence at other places. My office has had two of these since I was hired three years ago which, in my opinion, is two too many. I guess one of the downsides to working for a smaller company is that HR can get away with this nonsense. You think Amazon hosts an office-wide baby shower when Janice from Accounting is in her third trimester? Someone can correct me if I am wrong, but I doubt they would do such a thing. I know we are supposed to be a “tight-knit family” or whatever, but when you get right down to it – we are a place of work. A baby shower strikes me as a personal event. The people outside of work that you associate with should have the burden of hosting these events because they choose to be around you. The rest of us don’t have that luxury.
Secondly, I am kind of trapped here. It’s not like they left an invite on my desk that I could “accidentally” drop into the trash can. Everyone saw my name on that email chain. I can’t just not show up now and be that guy. There’s always the option of scheduling a client meeting during that timeframe, but everyone also knows I am not important enough to have an out-of-office client meeting, so they’d see right through me.
The least they could have done was have this thing at like, I don’t know, 3:00 p.m. on a Friday when no one is doing anything productive anyways. But no, of course not. They scheduled it during lunch. Now I will be spending the entirety of one of my precious lunch breaks watching Bailey (name changed to protect the accused) open 24-packs of Huggies. Thank you again, HR.
I expect to be solicited for a multitude of things throughout the year such as various school fundraisers and charity events, but I think we need to draw the line here at these workplace baby showers. I haven’t procreated yet because the thought of changing diapers instead of playing golf just made me puke a little bit, so don’t take offense that I want nothing to do with a baby shower for someone I wouldn’t associate with if it weren’t for them spending 8-hours a day in a cube down the hall from me.
In the essence of being totally transparent, I have to admit that this baby shower is for my work-wife. I should probably be more supportive, but I’m going to let her real husband take care of that. It’s his fault I’m in this situation to begin with..
Image via YouTube
Same with passing around a card to collect money for whoever’s upcoming birthday/baby/wedding/alien abduction. Knowing how much money everyone else in the company makes also sucks because I know I need that $10 more than you do SHARON so it’s gonna be a hard pass from me
What kind office passes a collection plate/card? Think you need to find another place to work.
I get really annoyed by the solicitations for signing card/giving money when people get married or have a kid, but I’m marrying a programmer from another department now and dammit if I couldn’t use every last cent for this wedding.
Why do babies still exist? Save that money and go to Ibiza or something lol
You better be working on that book Nived.
I’m trying. All things take time
Okay, I’ve given this some thought and I change my mind. Dont go to Ibiza, it’s too cheap in comparison to the cost of a mother person. If you don’t have that baby, you can afford to go to Mars when we make it happen. Get outa here while you can, babies can’t even hold interesting conversations and even when they grow up they somehow become less interesting which is fucking astounding
We call it a fucking “Baby Sprinkle” at my office. The first time I heard that I rolled my eyes so hard I thought I pulled the muscles in my eyes. I’m all about the DINK life but I work at an office that’s great for working mothers. There’s like a new baby announcement every month that sure as shit comes with a “sprinkle”
A “sprinkle” is usually for a second baby since they already had a shower for the first. They are just as brutal.
Work baby showers are the bane of my existence. At least when a guy doesn’t show up they just roll their eyes–when a woman doesn’t want to go, it’s a big deal.
My go-to move is to buy a gift card and give it to the mom-to-be an hour before the shower with a vague reason I can’t attend. “Sorry I can’t make it I have to prep for my meeting at 1.” You get guaranteed credit for the gift and it softens the blow of you not wanting to play baby shower games that Janice in accounting has prepared.
Free cake is usually pretty sweet though
TLDR but why complain about something that kills an hour of work and which you can openly spend 100% of time surfing on your phone without being judged or getting in trouble? Plus free snacks and shit…
Because complaining is what we do. The site is called PostGradPROBLEMS, not PostGradSolutions (I might actually copyright that).
I enjoyed mine. There was beer.
I work in a fortune 100 company, and we have these every time someone has a wedding or baby. So this does in fact happen at large corporations. It is so awkward and cringe worthy, basically everyone is there pretending to give a crap.
I work in an office of about 25 and we had THREE baby showers during lunch this summer alone.