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This is a real question, because I think the internet is going a little too crazy over Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris gallivanting in the ocean with one another all over Instagram yesterday. So I need to ask — who has a better Instagram game when on vacation, Will deFries or Taylor Swift? Let’s explore.
Exhibit A
Like, cool, Taylor. Can you look more unnatural posing like that in the water? Quick answer, no. This isn’t a Victoria’s Secret Swim shoot. It’s vacation. Toss a towel around the neck to preserve your shoulders and not let them get burned, Toss on a cap, and grab a cocktail. Who are you trying to impress?
Exhibit B
Cool sunset shot, guys. What did you do, put your camera on a fucking coconut and set it on a timer? How many times that take you before Taylor got the perfect toe point? All I did was whip out my iPhone, point it at my gf pounding a beer, and boom, magic happened. The fact that it didn’t hit 100 likes is a travesty, if I’m being honest.
Exhibit C
Let’s transition to water shots, Taylor. Full-disclosure, water trampolines are for trashy people that hate great views. If I wanted to litter the ocean with plastic, I’d just litter, not put a white trash trampoline in the middle of a huge beautiful body of water. All of the SMH.
Exhibit D
Dillon’s abs > Calvin Harris’ abs. Game, set, match. Next.
Exhibit E
Vs.
Again, what’s up with the posing? Vacations are all about being casual. That GoPro shot of me going double barrels on margaritas? One take. One fucking take. Knocked it out of the park.
Let’s vote.
Who has a better vacation Instagram game, me or Taylor Swift?
Read: https://t.co/FvIcXTYD0S
— Will deFries (@WilldeFries) March 16, 2016
PS. If I lose, I may not recover from this. .
Image via Instagram
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
Chill deBreeze wins on captions and hair, T-Swizzy wins on legs. My god, those legs.
Vacations are all about the chill factor. Will, you say that content never sleeps, but at least you know how to relax. T-Swift looks like she’s trying so hard to look like she’s having fun, but never actually has fun or relaxes.
You win this round, but she’s got the better legs.
“You have such dad legs.” – Dillon
That’s the ultimate compliment nowadays
Dad bod from head to toe.
Try-hard vacation photos are the worst. Anything that gives off a photoshoot vibe clearly took several tries and immediately lacks the chill factor.
I have it on good authority that Dorn manicures his chest hair.
Dorn does have weirdly good abs. Seeing them was the moment I went from thinking he was one of those guys who thinks he’s way better looking than he is…to a guy that thinks he’s way better looking than he is with great abs.
It looks like he’s drinking water. How fun.
Dorno is a vodka soda guy thru and thru.
^
No one, not even Taylor Swift or Calvin Harris, could ever put out the vibe like you do
I voted for you Will.
You win but my God the last T-Swift pic made me just want to dive face first into her butt.
One more damn Mobile Strike ad and I will lose my mind..
1. Didn’t know how good Taytay looks in a bikini.
2. Water trampoline, Negril, Jamaica, Spring Break ’03, girl from Michigan….I’m sure it’s better in the memory.
You could stand to lose a few lbs.