FINALLY! Some cold, hard numbers to back up your daily affirmations that your cold, hard heart will never find you true, everlasting love.
TIME just broke the news that they’re releasing a Facebook App that analyzes your friends’ marital status information to give you an idea of when they got married and how far you are from a sliver of companionable love.
The tech correspondent for TIME makes it clear that it is a limited rendering of the information. They only gather the information on relationship statuses of those friends who use their full birthday (with year) and yield that many people jokingly enter into “Facebook” marriage which may skew the accuracy of this analysis. Furthermore, he admits that many of your friends may, in fact, be married, yet not go Facebook official. This means there might actually be more buds shackled up than the app can even tell you. Just another dagger right there.
The app finds the median age at which your married friends tied the knot and then graciously gives you a handy countdown for how much time you have left to hit that middle-of-the-road benchmark. No one wants to be the last kid picked, and this handy device can give you a good dose of anxiety to help kick your butt into high gear! Warm up those thumbs and get back on Tinder, kids. It’s not peer pressure. It’s just your turn.