In romance, the intended meaning of things is often misunderstood. Everything is up for interpretation and even over analysis can happen. Maybe they asked you out to brunch as opposed to dinner to avoid romantic pretenses, or maybe they just really fucking like chicken and waffles. Tinder is no exception. Even a simple profile of a couple of pictures and twenty words has layers of interpretation. So to help you navigate the online dating scene, here are some translations of common Tinder profile bios.
“Not looking to hookup.”
“I don’t know what Tinder is.”
“Aquarius, looking for my Leo, is it just me or is Neptune in retrograde?!? lol.”
“I believe that my destiny was assigned to me before I was born and I am part of a grand design, but meeting cute guys at coffee shops doesn’t seem to be in the cards, so here I am.”
“Just here for the weekend.”
“I could not be more DTF.”
A list of emojis including, but not limited to: wine glass, dancing red dress woman, slice of pizza, and airplane.
“Hi, I’m basic AF, nice to meet you.”
“Looking for someone to take me to dinner and treat me like a princess.”
“I ain’t sayin’ I’m a gold digger but I ain’t swiping no broke….”
“Just moved here, looking for someone to show me around…”
“I’m new to town and don’t know anyone. I’m looking for a tour guide in exchange for leading you on with an ambiguous promise of sex. It is very likely I will use you to meet people and then stop hanging out with you when I meet your friends or friend’s friends and make them my own.”
“Likes: travel, coffee, pizza, fun, adventure, Netflix.”
“I also enjoy breathing air and not being poor. I am hesitant to really put myself out there, so I play it safe and only identify myself with things that are universally celebrated.”
“I’m actually 17.”
“I’m a dude in an unmarked FBI van across the street from you.”
“I’m just doing it for fun, not looking to meet up.
“I am an aspiring selfie artist and I want to use Tinder as a medium to spread my message that I am hot. I’m very insecure and my sense of self worth can be measured in Instagram ‘Likes’ of my heavily filtered mirror shots.”
“Leslie Knope is my spirit animal and I am looking for my Jim Halpert, but no one gets in the way of me and my GIRLS.”
“I don’t get out enough and watch too much TV resulting in having unrealistic romantic expectations. I will be disappointed if we don’t start off in a whirlwind of cute adventures drenched in sexy jokes in which I eventually catch you in a suspicious situation with your Ex, but you chase me down and declare your love for me in public, embarrassing yourself in front of a group of people who stop and clap. I might actually pause for laugh track during conversation.”
“I’m willing to try anything once ;)”
Of course this is all from a male perspective. If you’ve got the female perspective, I’d love to hear it. .
Image via Shutterstock