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Los Angeles “Pizza”
This isn’t so much a critique on Los Angeles’ pizza itself–which we all know is garbage–rather than an overarching critique on those who put strange and unusual toppings on their slices.
Seriously, arugula? Kale? Sweet potato crusts? Goat cheese? These toppings are signs of the douchebag, antichrist of pizza lovers. They try to make pizza healthy in order to justify eating pizza. Pro tip: The best way to make pizza healthy is to NOT EAT PIZZA. You’re only fooling yourself, and you’re ruining it for the rest of us.
I’m being cruel to Los Angelesians. Angelinos? Whatever. It’s not just Californians who are to blame. It’s really anyone who perpetuates “artisan” pizza. So really, this is “artisan pizza,” but any day I can get Randall J. Knox mad at me is a day I consider a success.
People who like this kind of pizza are often vain, narcissistic, have poor taste and judgment, and just make me fucking sick. Keep your vegetables off my pizza. Except grilled onions. Those are dope.
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This aggression against Chicago deep dish will not stand. I have constantly craved Lou Malnati’s since my last trip to Chicago.
Lou Malnati’s is a gift from God.
There’s pizza, and then there’s the most delicious crust loaded with toppings and sauce, ON THE FING TOP!! Perfectly cooked Chicago deep dish almost makes up for everything wrong with that place, but then there is the cubs soooo….
Pure and utter slander.
I smell an “In Defense of Chicago Deep Dish Pizza” article…
Bacon pizza. That’s all I have to say about that.
I’m guess I’m just a lonely/horny weirdo who likes pineapple on meat lovers
I’ll agree that the Square from L & B’s is awesome, but how dare you call Chicago style deep dish anything but glorious? Go snort powdered everclear you douche.
I respect you for the L&B love, but Chicago Deep Dish is the Warren G. Harding of Pizzas.
Come at me, bro.
Upside Down Square? Is there something I’m missing or is that just a slice of Sicilian?
Not the most popular choice, but my favorite slice in NY is the artichoke slice at Artichoke on 14th. Heavenly.
You’re not missing something, the slice is missing something. It has no cheese. Marinara is on top, therefore it is upside down.
I like Supreme Stuffed Crust pizza. I assume this means I’m simply gluttonous.
^ This
DiGiorNo you didn’t
What about the thin vs thick crust debate?
Great. Now I have to think about what kind of person I am when I order a fucking pizza.
What about weirdos like me who love pizza, but if given the choice would pick white pizza over anything? Or this just might be me…