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What Your Boss Is Saying vs. What It Really Means

In today’s workplace, there is an abundance of what I like to call “boss-speak.” It’s those repetitive generalities that your boss speaks in to avoid completely destroying your confidence, and in turn, make the workplace a more tolerable environment.

Saying: “This is low-hanging fruit.”
Really means: “If you can’t get this done, you are literally our worst employee.”

Saying: “Just some constructive criticism here…”
Really means: “I’m trying not to be a dick here…”

Saying: “Let me take a look at it Monday.”
Really means: “I’m busy with other shit.”

Saying: “Need a team effort on this one.”
Really means: “Do your job better or I’m going to get fired.”

Saying: “Put our nose to the grindstone.”
Really means: “Work harder, you goddamn peasants.”

Saying: “At the end of the day…”
Really means: “I’m just saying words that don’t have anything to do with what I’m trying to say.”

Saying: “Let’s try to get on the same page here.”
Really means: “This is an absolute clusterfuck.”

Saying: “Feel free to reach out.”
Really means: “Don’t make me do your job for you.”

Saying: “Don’t sweat it.”
Really means: “I had this job at one point too and was way better at it than you are.”

Saying: “Let’s think outside the box.”
Really means: “Your parents paid tens of thousands of dollars for you to go to college. Use your brain.”

Saying: “Moving forward…”
Really means: “Don’t do what you just did ever again.”

Saying: “Good job today.”
Really means: “God, I hope you’re actually good at this job and don’t make me look bad for hiring you.”

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TheChampionsTour

TheChampionsTour (@ChampsTourTFM) is a contributing writer for Post Grad Problems, Rowdy Gentleman, and Total Frat Move .

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