======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
It’s that time of year. It’s hot. The A/C is running all day. Underwear is optional. And of course, the outrage wing of the internet begins complaining about the greatest invention of the last 1000 years. The evil, passive-aggressive tool the Patriarchy™ loves unleashing on poor, unsuspecting people in the workplace. That’s right. I’m talking about air conditioning.
And it is absolutely crazy town.
I don’t even know where to begin. This is like complaining that your airplane flew too fast or your OLED TV was too awesome. Complaining about buildings being too cold in the summer shows an insane lack of perspective on human history.
You know what used to happen in the summer? People used to just keel over and die from the heat. They’d literally just die right there in the street. Ask your parents and grandparents what life used to be like pre-AC. I bet it was awesome, right? No sexist buildings ready to attack you with their cool, refreshing air. Wrong. Dead wrong. “Yeah, you know little Jimmy down Mulberry St.? He died. Kid just straight up died selling lemonade on that there corner. That’s just life in 1954. RIP Jimmy.”
And if the little Jimmies of the world weren’t keeling over and dying in the street for all to see, they were stinking up the joint and ruining upholstery with sweat and stank. You know why old people cover their couches in plastic? It’s because furniture used to soaked in perspiration and make everything smell like the inside of an asshole. Can you imagine what the world smelled like pre-AC? I don’t want to and neither do you.
I would pick trying to warm up over trying to cool off any day of the week. Are you kidding me? Are you KIDDING me? Warming up? Easy. Build a fire. Literally the first thing humans invented. Done. Cooling off, though? Cooling off used to require jumping into a pool or a pond with snakes in it or a leech infested creek or a typhoid-filled lake or uncorking a fire hydrant that could very well blind you with water pressure. Then you had to dry off, pick your clothes out of a dogwood tree and then write a song about it 25 years later. What a hassle.
Now? You just, like, walk into a 7-11. Don’t even have to buy anything. It’s 98 degrees outside and you’re sweating your ass off after just walking 100 feet? Open a door of literally any building in the civilized world and get blasted in the face with cold air. It’s incredible.
Also, what’s the alternative here? Okay, let’s say the government decides that thermostats can no longer go below 78 degrees. You win. You got your justice. Instead of every building being a cool oasis, every single place in the world smells like a public bus. BO, sweat, stank, whatever you want to call it penetrates your nostrils at every turn. Ugh. Disgusting, smelly men everywhere. But you got what you wanted, right? That’s the perfect world you’ve created, where the slight inconvenience of making sure you have a sweater, blazer or a long sleeve t-shirt in a desk drawer post-Memorial Day no longer exists.
As for me, I’ll always be rocking 70-72 degrees on the thermostat (64 degrees and an ET blanket on hangover Sundays) and my home will always be a borderline hockey rink during the summer, because we are humans. Champions of innovation. Ever watch/read “The Grapes of Wrath”? Ask yourself if that’s the world you truly want to live in. A world where everyone is sweaty and miserable? No thanks. I’m going to keep living in my world, a world where the sun is no match for me and my clothes don’t look like they’re covered in dirt all the time. .
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
At a previous job I asked our VP why the girls were allowed to wear shorts during the summer on casual Fridays but the guys were not, and his response was, “I like looking at their legs, not yours.” Gotta respect the honesty at least.
Air conditioning is a top 3 human invention of all time
Airplanes, the internet and alcohol.
I like you, lets be friends.
Other top 2?
The submarine and The Flint, Michigan MegaBowl
Sandwich or other thing?
The aluminum can and the Brazilian.
Up for debate, I would say electricity and fire
Not even remotely inventions…
Duct Tape and Read Receipts on texts
No one mention penicillin?
The girl complaining in the video says “common sense” while referencing how to fix this problem. The irony here is astounding. Common sense would be keeping a jacket at her desk, not screaming about the patriarchy. You can always add layers, but there is a limit to how many a person can take off.
I’ll tell you who complains about air conditioning, the women in my office.
These two redcoats whining about this is the definition of a 1st world problem.
Lobsterbacks
Being able to be super cold when it’s hot outside is a very underrated luxury. It’s right up there with having abundant cold water and unlimited cell data
And always being able to add Gauc without a second thought
True. Last Sunday we shut the blinds, turned the ac down (69, of course) and watched the US Open. Took the dog out and actually forget it was 98 degrees. It’s called living the dream for sure
Brian, can I write a Conspjracy Thursday piece? I know that’s your jam so I figured I’d ask you directly/indirectly via the comment section of your article
no
Alright word. Great talk
I’ll just start a Truther Tuesday series to try and gain marketshare on the topic within the PGP community and then hopefully become profitable enough to get listed in exchanges and receive an IPO and then acquire your series because this is big business and when businesses aren’t destroying the environment, killing people, and controlling everything from the shadows behind government, they’re breeding healthy competition with one another even though many of them are owned by the same shadowy holding companies. The only way this won’t work is if the powers that be in the PGP don’t publish my content and subsequently silence me via censorship which would make them part of the illuminati
Wasn’t this a thing like 2 years ago? If anything, I guess it can be considered “sexist,” just not in the way that they’re arguing. If men’s businesswear was allowed to be more relaxed, less layered, and have the breathability of women’s businesswear (really, just having the ability to wear shorts), then the a/c wouldn’t have to be as high.
Touché. Imagine how nice it would be to crank out some afternoon emails while feeling a cool breeze against your exposed legs
Amen. I’ve come in on the weekend with nobody here a couple times and rocked shorts, boat shoes, and a tee, and absolutely reveled in sitting in the same spot I find myself for thousands of hours over the course of the year, except actually comfortable for once.
In my office we have 12 women and 3 men yet all summer there are fights about the AC with the vast majority (the women) wanting it higher and the men fighting to keep it low. The men always somehow get their way and we ladies are forced to keep wool cardigans handy all summer. However, I think that rather than impose regulations on temperature limits the better solution is to ease up on men’s dress code policies. What’s wrong with some business casual shorts or short sleeve button downs? A couple of hairy gams around the office wouldn’t hurt anybody. #freethecalf
That’s the easy solution. But until men are allowed to take off layers, the options are ladies with sweaters and everyone’s comfortable or ladies with no sweaters and only some people are.
Preach bro, 69 on the stat for life.