What I Spent This Weekend: Pinot Noir, Designer Deodorant, And Too Many Ubers

What I Spent This Weekend: Pinot Noir, Designer Deodorant, And Too Many Ubers

Last week, I brought you one man’s insufferable story about a weekend he spent in Washington D.C. (but not really in Washington D.C. because this guy is a poser). It was a part of The Washingtonian’s “Food Money Sex” series in which an anonymous person chronicles everything they do in a given weekend. Not being someone who wants to throw stones at glass houses, I’d be remiss if I didn’t follow up with my own “Food Money Sex” diary for the weekend that was.

* * *


What I Spent:

— Bottle of Decoy Pinot Noir, $18.99
— Acqua di Parma Deodorant on Amazon, $34.97

How I Saved:

Catered lunch at work? Check. Leftovers and food I had bought at the store earlier that week? Check. A refusal to go out and spend money on Ubers / $8 vodka-sodas in plastic cups all night? Strike three. I’m not sure how I did it, but I somehow managed to actually stay in after telling myself all day, “I will not go out tonight.”

Where I Should’ve Saved:

Did I manage to spend the same amount I would’ve spent on drinks on a stick of deodorant? You’re goddamn right I did. Was it one of those wine-drink purchases you think is a good idea only to regret it in the morning? Yep. But I’ll be smellin’ good in 3-5 business days.


What I Spent:

— 16-ounce Modelo at Darrell K Royal–Texas Memorial Stadium, $9.50
— Two (2) Pints of Dos Equis at Little Woodrow’s, $12.00
— One (1) Vodka-Soda at Parlor & Yard, $8.40
— Three Ubers, $36.40 total
— Round Trip Travel Ticket, $158.00

How I Saved:

You know how people always tell you to eat a good meal before drinking? Especially when day drinking? Yeah, I ate literally nothing on Saturday besides a bowl of yogurt with berries that morning.

Saving wise, though, I’m almost positive that I had two drinks purchased for me that night because I have no receipt for an extra vodka-soda I definitely ordered from the bar. I also joined a group for dinner and had one Ranch Water that was paid for by the table because it would’ve been an absolute bitch to Venmo five different people $2.00 each.

How I Should’ve Saved:

Was taking an $18.90 Uber home from the football game the most responsible idea? No, but when you need to get out of an aggressive day drinking situation, money isn’t an option. And considering the number of drinks I got for free at both the tailgate and out on the town, sometimes you can splash some cash an Uber driver’s way.


What I Spent:

— Pizza and Beers at Pinthouse Pizza, $20.37
— Groceries at Central Market, $56.45
Landline Rental on iTunes, $4.99

How I Saved:

Minutes before I embarked on a hungover trip to the store because it was Crabcake Sunday™, I noticed that only half of said bottle of Decoy Pinot had been consumed on Friday night. Perfect situation to not buy wine at the store that night. And obviously beers and pizza with Dave were a necessity. When you’re licking the wounds from the night before, you need to sit down and recap with someone in a #chillsitch.

How I Should’ve Saved:

Could I have gotten by with stolen Netflix / HBO Go passwords rather than spending a few bucks on Landline starring Jenny Slate? Yes. Did I rent it because Jenny Slate’s Obviously Child is one of my all-time favorite romantic comedies? Duh.


What I Spent: $360.07

As a member of the most transparent podcast in the history of podcasts, I’ll say this – looking up your finances after a big weekend isn’t the most enjoyable venture. But it sure was a hell of a lot better than that pretentious hipster from last week.

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Editor at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram).

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