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Last week, I brought you one man’s insufferable story about a weekend he spent in Washington D.C. (but not really in Washington D.C. because this guy is a poser). It was a part of The Washingtonian’s “Food Money Sex” series in which an anonymous person chronicles everything they do in a given weekend. Not being someone who wants to throw stones at glass houses, I’d be remiss if I didn’t follow up with my own “Food Money Sex” diary for the weekend that was.
Friday
What I Spent:
— Bottle of Decoy Pinot Noir, $18.99
— Acqua di Parma Deodorant on Amazon, $34.97
How I Saved:
Catered lunch at work? Check. Leftovers and food I had bought at the store earlier that week? Check. A refusal to go out and spend money on Ubers / $8 vodka-sodas in plastic cups all night? Strike three. I’m not sure how I did it, but I somehow managed to actually stay in after telling myself all day, “I will not go out tonight.”
Where I Should’ve Saved:
Did I manage to spend the same amount I would’ve spent on drinks on a stick of deodorant? You’re goddamn right I did. Was it one of those wine-drink purchases you think is a good idea only to regret it in the morning? Yep. But I’ll be smellin’ good in 3-5 business days.
Saturday
What I Spent:
— 16-ounce Modelo at Darrell K Royal–Texas Memorial Stadium, $9.50
— Two (2) Pints of Dos Equis at Little Woodrow’s, $12.00
— One (1) Vodka-Soda at Parlor & Yard, $8.40
— Three Ubers, $36.40 total
— Round Trip Travel Ticket, $158.00
How I Saved:
You know how people always tell you to eat a good meal before drinking? Especially when day drinking? Yeah, I ate literally nothing on Saturday besides a bowl of yogurt with berries that morning.
Saving wise, though, I’m almost positive that I had two drinks purchased for me that night because I have no receipt for an extra vodka-soda I definitely ordered from the bar. I also joined a group for dinner and had one Ranch Water that was paid for by the table because it would’ve been an absolute bitch to Venmo five different people $2.00 each.
How I Should’ve Saved:
Was taking an $18.90 Uber home from the football game the most responsible idea? No, but when you need to get out of an aggressive day drinking situation, money isn’t an option. And considering the number of drinks I got for free at both the tailgate and out on the town, sometimes you can splash some cash an Uber driver’s way.
Sunday
What I Spent:
— Pizza and Beers at Pinthouse Pizza, $20.37
— Groceries at Central Market, $56.45
— Landline Rental on iTunes, $4.99
How I Saved:
Minutes before I embarked on a hungover trip to the store because it was Crabcake Sunday™, I noticed that only half of said bottle of Decoy Pinot had been consumed on Friday night. Perfect situation to not buy wine at the store that night. And obviously beers and pizza with Dave were a necessity. When you’re licking the wounds from the night before, you need to sit down and recap with someone in a #chillsitch.
How I Should’ve Saved:
Could I have gotten by with stolen Netflix / HBO Go passwords rather than spending a few bucks on Landline starring Jenny Slate? Yes. Did I rent it because Jenny Slate’s Obviously Child is one of my all-time favorite romantic comedies? Duh.
Total
What I Spent: $360.07
As a member of the most transparent podcast in the history of podcasts, I’ll say this – looking up your finances after a big weekend isn’t the most enjoyable venture. But it sure was a hell of a lot better than that pretentious hipster from last week. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
So I guess no sex?
Come on Keith, we all know Will isn’t married yet.
Wait wait, was that one stick of deodorant or a pack of 6-8?
Why is no one patting me on the back for barely spending anything on drinks on Saturday?
Friday night deodorant hole was too deep to dig out of.
Friday: $33 for two bottles of wine and half a chicken
Saturday: $240 at Homeslice on pizza and beers
Sunday: $44.52 on groceries and $17 for a scented candle
Wait, how did you spend $240 at a pizza place?
Because it was mostly on drinks and I was there for like 5 hours.
But think about all the dollar margaritas you could’ve bought at Applebee’s.
Look, I’m not saying my decisions on Saturday were good but they were the best that I could make at that moment.
Friday: $0, girlfriend brought over pizza and the wine was free (meaning I bought it previously and therefore it somehow costs nothing)
Saturday: $35 on Mexican food and margs
Sunday: $32 on gas and a Gatorade, $84 at Home Depot
This might be my most grownup weekend in months.
wait you live in austin? be my friend
Should have saved the $40 deodorant for the worst stories of the weekend. That sounds horrible.
Drank half a bottle of wine and spent 40 bucks on deodorant. I blackout on the weekends to avoid disasters like that.
Yeah, but you’re hungover and I get to smell good as hell for over a month. Who really wins?
Will, there is not a single thing you could say to justify that abhorrent purchase.
As someone who’s also been to Pinthouse with Dave, that’s an experience you can’t really put a price on.
Will not on the Amazon Prime train?
I actually use my girlfriend’s Prime account but it was from a third-party seller so I have no faith that it will get here soon.
Those are the worst. I quit buying from them unless absolutely necessary.
Apparently I live in a really cheap city. $8 does not equal 1 drink in my world.
I spent $95 on beers (and three $5 hotdogs) at a freaking church picnics Saturday night.
Like the hipster, no sex?
Will, no judgement on deodorant. I had afternoon drinks with my mother in law and ended up buying about $300 worth of decorative holiday plates.