What I Spent This Weekend: Chess Board, Tequila, And Bruno Mars

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

When I accepted this week’s WISTW writing assignment, I was nervous. I wasn’t afraid to pull back the curtain on my weekend in fun, but I was certainly nauseous thinking about cataloging my spending habits. Would this exercise finally confirm my most prominent fear that I am reckless and harmful to myself and others? Probably. Will I do anything for content? Yes.

I almost texted the boss to quit the whole exercise entirely, but as I got into it I realized there’s no reason to be embarrassed of who I am. Plus, upon completion, I was actually pleasantly surprised. Considering the damage I have done in weekends past, the below feels okay. I’m just a 22-year-old girl living her best life in LA. Here’s what I spent this weekend.

Thursday

What I Spent:

— Bottle of Avion Silver Tequila, $39.99

Yes. I know. I have literally already gotten this wrong. Thursday is not the weekend, but I felt it important to add this purchase because 1) it is an item that served me well all weekend and 2) I want to say that sometimes Thursday can feel like the weekend, and if it does, just ride that wave, player.

How I Saved:

After work on Thursday, I played paddle tennis with friends followed by a Sushi and Two Martini Dinner™. This dinner cost me $0 because it was at a country club of which I’m not a member. I like to think that I pay my friend back in jokes and being her “attractive single friend.” She vehemently disagrees.

Where I Should’ve Saved:

Some would say I didn’t need to purchase 750 ml of Avion tequila on Thursday. Those people would be wrong.

See, I had to buy a bottle of Tequila on Thursday as it was for an experiment. I am struggling with a bout of uncontrollable night eating. I have no fucking idea what has come over me, but for the past three weeks I have been waking up in the middle of the night, going to my kitchen and fixing myself a, wait for it, cheese sandwich.

I convinced myself the only way to combat this was to get REAL drunk right before bed so I’d pass out and sleep through the night. Sound logic? No. Successful? Fuck yes. I did wake up on Friday with an unruly hangover, but more importantly, I went to work with a belly void of sharp cheddar and rye. I’d call that a W.

Friday

What I Spent:

— Subsistence from 7-eleven, $7.20
— Grande Black Coffee, mini guacamole, shoelaces, $10.85
— Four drinks and slice of pizza at dive bar in Downtown LA, $30
— Metro, $1.75
— Beer at Karaoke bar, $6.00

Where I Saved:

Anytime I take the metro anywhere in Los Angeles instead of Ubering, I deserve a goddamn medal.

For dinner, instead of taking the easy way out and going to an overpriced snooze fest close to my office, we ventured a little further and went to a very dirty dive bar that lets you bring pizza inside. Trading $30 for four martinis, a slice of pizza, and two ass-kickings at the pool table seems like a fair bargain to me.

(Plus, the ass-kickings were totally free).

Where I Should’ve Saved:

Because I am viscerally opposed to meal prep, I purchased my daily subsistence from the 7-eleven next to my office, as I do every day. The $7.20 bought me breakfast (Chocolate One Protein Bar) and lunch (personal sized cottage cheese and 2 hard boiled eggs). Did I “need” this stuff? Yes, to live. Could I have “saved” money packing my lunch? I literally do not care because my mental health is more important than meal prep and leftovers make me queasy.

The coffee, guac, and shoelaces were all pre-gym necessities. I save a mountain every day at work on free espresso, but sometimes I need a fat black coffee to get stoked for the gym at 5 p.m. on a Friday.

Although the $6 is forgivable, I regret the beer at Karaoke because I pulled a late night audible regardless of my 7 am Saturday wake up and I saw an acquaintance from high school throw up on her bare feet. Although, I’m team #neverregret when it comes to karaoke, so I’ll consider it a wash.

Saturday

What I Spent:

— City Bike Rental, $1.49
— MASSIVE Head of Cauliflower, Coffee Beans, and Jalapenos $10.00
— Wrist guards, $8.50
— Thrift store bling for Bruno Mars Concert, $10
— Shots, pizza, and Martini’s from Brick and Mortar on Main St., $35.00

How I Saved:

You can now tell everyone you know that I am a hero. Not because I coached my team of 8-year-old basketball girls at 8:45 a.m. on a Saturday, but because I rode a goddamn City Bike four miles there and back instead of Ubering. We lost 1-7, this was not surprising. The parents provided fruit snacks and muffins for breakfast which meant my breakfast was also fruit snacks and muffins and cost $0.

Following my b-ball game, I rode the city bike to a farmers market. I purchased a cauliflower to roast and eat, Coffee beans (already roasted) to grind and brew, and jalapenos to crush and mix into some Avion.

I saved some serious dinero here because a) I ate the cauliflower for both lunch and 11 p.m. drunk food, b) If I went to a coffee shop for the literal gallons of coffee I consume weekly, it would cost more than a new heart when mine bursts from over-caffenation disease. (Bet you googled it, didn’t you?) c) I made a few spicy tequila’s over ice for myself and a friend instead of spending $15 a drink at the bar because restaurants in L.A. think making a drink physically painful to consume warrants an up-charge.

Finally, the wrist guards. I’m not sure how much a broken wrist from shredding the gnar on my rollerblades would cost, but I guarantee it’s more than $8.50. I’ll leave it at that.

Where I Should’ve Saved:

I am young and reckless and spent $10 on a chain belt and 6 VERY RETRO brooches to wear to the Bruno Mars concert I attended that evening. The tickets were a gift, so honestly, I was obligated to look fly. Still, if you’re boring I guess you could consider that an “unnecessary expense”. P.S. if you’ve heard that Bruno’s shows are insanely funky and enjoyable, it’s the truth.

Dinner was a little pricey for what we got (trendy pizza sux), and I don’t generally go out to dinner both weekend nights, but we were going to a concert and I wanted to show off my new belt. Sue me.

Sunday

What I Spent:

— Muffin supplies, $10.00
— New Chess Board, $18.00
— Uber to wine tasting, $8.00

Where I Saved:

I peeled myself from my bed at 8 a.m. on Sunday and ran the stairs. The stairs are a huge set of stairs near the beach that psychopaths like myself run up and down, by choice. This was big for me, not because I worked out, but because I was running next to a group of high school football players. I watched one of them throw up mid-flight of stairs. He reeked of Fireball, or whatever the hell kids drink these days, and that immediately made my mild hangover dissipated as I knew I was 1,000% better off than him. Shouts to whichever high-schooler threw a banger last night. I’m realizing now this has nothing to do with money.

I continued my responsible spending and purchased muffin supplies from the store. Instead of balling out on eggs and balls of melon at brunch somewhere, I made muffins for a group of friends. Yes, I did indeed let them compliment the shit out of my “homemade baked goods” without telling a damn soul that they came directly from a box.

Where I Should’ve Saved:

After the muffin extravaganza, I spent my afternoon at a wine tasting listening to folk music. About two hours in I decided I wanted to learn the fiddle. Thank god I had no cell reception, or a fiddle would be at my door in 1-2 business days. The $8.00 Uber was an unnecessary expense considering I have both a working bike and working legs, I should do better next weekend but I probably won’t.

On my way home from the wine tasting, I stopped into a very fancy thrift shop and overpaid for a new (to me) chess board. I guess I could have downloaded the app on my phone, but when I obliterate someone at a game of chess I like it to be in person and not over the interweb. I destroyed my old board on a first date last week. How is not important.

Total: $196.78 .

30

Respond

Email this to a friend

Hey, I saw this on Post Grad Problems. Check it out.

CallMeVictoria

Life is messy, let's get dirty. itwasvictoria@gmail.com

• @callmevictoria
• @itwasvictoria