======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
*Me arriving 5 minutes late*
What I Said: Sorry I’m soooo late… I’m normally always on time but my Uber driver was driving like a grandma.
What I Meant: I’m literally never on time, and if you can’t handle these 5 minutes, you sure as hell won’t be able to handle the usual 30+ minutes 6 months into this thing. *IF* it comes to that.
What I Said: So, how did you say you found this place? It’s so cute!
What I Meant: I’ve literally been on 8 first dates at this bar; 1 was last night. The bartender is judging me so hard.
What I Said: How was your day?
What I Meant: I don’t give a shit about the traffic you sat through or about all the “iron” you definitely did not pump at the gym. I’m just trying to make sure you have a job that doesn’t have the word “aspiring” in front of it.
What I Said: Where do you live again?
What I Meant: Let’s be real, this is LA and traffic is a bitch. I’m not about to get into a long-distance unlabeled relationship with someone who lives on the Eastside. Or worse, the Valley.
What I Said: Manhattan Beach is one of my favorite areas! If the commute wasn’t so bad,
I’d totally live there too.
What I Meant: A good 25 minutes away, but I’ll overlook that because I actually really love MB. I wonder if he plays volleyball.
What I Said: My go-to cocktail? Usually white wine when I’m out, don’t want to worry about the red wine stains on my teeth!
What I Meant: Prosecco but I don’t want you to think I’m high-maintenance. Or vodka-soda but you know, I’m not trying to black out on at least our first four dates.
What I Said: Where are you from again?
What I Meant: I can hang with the East Coast, Midwest, South, even NorCal. Orange County is really pushing it. If you were born and raised here I will literally punch myself in the face.
What I Said: Ohio! That’s awesome! The Ohio State University has the coolest marching band!
What I Meant: Midwest, thank God. I even knew about the “The” Ohio State thing. I’m so smart. *hair flip emoji*
What I Said: Are you excited to go home for the holidays? I know I am.
What I Meant: Please have a good relationship with your mostly functional family. I’m trying to #adult here.
What I Said: That’s awesome! Yeah, it’s going to be so cold back east! We’ve both gotta pack all of the sweaters.
What I Meant: But actually it’s going to be cold AF and this romper is not going to cut it in New England.
What I Said: So far just a lot of plans with family and friends from home. You? Can’t wait to watch the GOAT light it up against the Jets with my Dad and brother on Christmas Eve!
What I Meant: Petting my dog. And drinking all of the wine with my mom and sister. But also watching the GOAT light it up against the Jets with my Dad and brother on Christmas Eve.
What I Said: OF COURSE, TOM BRADY IS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! HE’S FREAKING TOM BRADY! What’s the Browns record again?
What I Meant: OF COURSE, TOM BRADY IS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! HE’S FREAKING TOM BRADY! I can’t even say “The Browns” without rolling my eyes.
What I Said: Hey at least you guys almost won the World Series!
What I Meant: 2nd place is still really good! Uh oh… looks like that was too soon… Thank God, waitress saving me by dropping off the check.
*Reaching into my purse to get wallet*
What I Said: Are you sure? You really don’t have to. Thank you so much!
What I Meant: Are you sure? You really don’t have to. Thank you so much!
What I Said: Oh, you drove here? That’s okay, I’ll just call an Uber so you don’t have to go out of your way.
What I Meant: There’s no way in hell I’m letting you drive me home, you’re a stranger! At least my uber driver is a stranger with a sticker on his car.
*Standing on curb waiting for the awkward kiss/hug goodbye*
What I Said: Ok, well this was fun. Have a good rest of your ni-
What I Meant: Oh, ok we’re doing this. He’s a decent kisser, much better than the slobbery dude from last night. Alright, we can’t be making out on the street like this after a first date, pull it together woman.
What I Said: I better go, I think my Uber’s arriving! This weekend? I have plans on Saturday, but we could probably figure something out Friday or Sunday.
What I Meant: If you don’t go for the Friday night move you are done. May the odds be ever in your favor! .
Image via YouTube
Respond
You had me at the GOAT
*Heart eyes emoji*
meant to say “how you doin”
i’m new and don’t know how to post gifs or delete comments!
What I said on my date VS what I meant: JK I live with my parents, I’m never getting laid.
*Reaching into my purse to get wallet*
What I Said: Are you sure? You really don’t have to. Thank you so much!
What I Meant: Are you sure? You really don’t have to. Thank you so much!
I respect your pay-your-own-way approach to this.
In LA? Sup?
Also, gotta know what the bar is
Brick & Mortar.
Also- sup?
B&M in Weho? I took a first date there on Saturday as well. That was my go-to. But now that I’m not the only serial firster dater that uses that, I might need to rethink my default spot.
In Santa Monica? Because definitely a frequented brunch spot…
B&M might as well stand for bottomless mimosas
Bungalow PGP dager in the future?
Kegs n Eggs at FIG parlays right into a dager at Bungalow
I am into it, to say the least
Also, LA – sup?
Sup?
I always think it’s funny how girls always reach for their purse on the first date even though her & I both know she’s not paying.
God bless you and the parents that raised you
The “where do you live” thing for LA is the realest thing I’ve ever read. I’m not driving from the west side to Burbank just to see you on a Wednesday.
I’m not leaving the Westside for any date really…
*raised hand emoji*
Maybe if you catch me on a day I’m headed to see my parents, but even then, not likely.
Preach
OC? Sup?
Christmas is Sunday.
Clevelanders are trash. He’s clearly the exception and that’s why he’s so far away.
How many major sports championships has Cincy won this millennium? (Spoiler Alert: 0)
Cleveland is all you got pal so best show some respect!
It had nothing to do with athletics.
Don’t lump Dayton in with us.