We’ve All Been The Guy Accused Of Hacking A Restaurant’s Cable Package To Watch College Basketball

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I have seen some pretty good fraud pulled off in my day, but the stunt pulled by this finance manager from an Illinois car dealership is definitely one of the best I’ve seen.

Kevin Cayton, from Arlington Heights, Illinois, allegedly impersonated an employee at Buffalo Phil’s in Lake Delton, Wisconsin, in an attempt to add the PAC-12 Network to the restaurant’s cable package so that he could watch an Arizona basketball game when he visited the Lake Delton area for a weekend in late December. The business manager of the restaurant discovered an increase in the restaurant’s cable bill in February and reached out to local authorities.

Honestly, I respect the hustle. I empathize with the struggle of not being able to watch your favorite team play, especially in this case, a rivalry game against then top-5 ranked Arizona State. However, this seems to be a little extreme to just want to watch a game, so Cayton is either a serial live-betting addict or an actual psycho super-fan. Either way, it’s not the best look.

Investigators obtained multiple phone calls recorded by the cable provider, and discovered a man by the name of Pat Barkley (mistake #1, gotta go with a better alias than this), had asked to add the channel to the restaurant’s package because he wanted to watch the Arizona game later that week. Investigators could hear people in the background purchasing vehicles, a man introduce himself as “Kevin” and during a credit check they heard a customer name a certain health care facility where they worked. The investigating officer then called that medical facility and asked about any employees who had recently purchased a vehicle. They soon found someone who had purchased a car at the Howard Buick-GMC in Elmhurst, Illinois. They then discovered there was one employee at this dealership named Kevin, and they also found out that he had checked in to a Lake Delton hotel in December. After some social media stalking, Cayton was seen in Lake Delton in late December and appeared to be an avid Arizona fan.

That is some phenomenal detective work. It’s almost as impressive as some of the detective work conducted by my ex-girlfriend from college. It’s one of those situations where you can’t even be mad, you have to appreciate the hard work. I can’t decide if I’m more impressed by the guy upgrading the restaurant’s cable package or the detectives being able to figure out who did it.

Cayton has now been charged with felony identity theft for financial gain and unauthorized use of an entity’s identifying information. He could face up to 12 years in prison.

Clearly, Mr. Cayton has never heard of Reddit and doesn’t even know what a live stream is. It’s 2018 and we’ve been live streaming games on our phone at the bar for years now. Get with the times, my dude..

[via Wisconsin News]

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Delph

I'm just a cultured redneck that coaches hoops.

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