We Are All Rob Ford


I don’t understand what the big deal is surrounding Toronto mayor Rob Ford. By all accounts, the crack-smoking, football-loving (Canadian rules), NFL-tie-from-1995-wearing, alcoholic mayor of the largest city in America’s hat is a jolly fellow. So yeah, he smoked some crack when he was blackout drunk. Who cares that he’s constantly finding his way in front of video cameras at the absolute worst possible times? Who among us is immune to criticism? Like the good book says, “Let he who is without sin, cast the first crack rock.”

When it comes down to it, we have a lot more in common with the more than likely soon to be former good mayor than most of us realize. In fact, I’d go as far to say that we are all Rob Ford.

1. Who hasn’t stuck their foot in their mouth over exaggerated claims of sexual exploits?

2. Who hasn’t done weird, reprehensible shit when drunk?

3. Who doesn’t have that sketchy group of friends from the past that always comes back to haunt them?


4. Our glory years are behind us.


5. Our tempers can flare up.

6. We aren’t afraid to speak our minds.

7. Kids just piss us off sometimes.

8. We aren’t afraid to call people on their shit.

9. We might not know exactly where we’re going.


10. We feel the need to protect what’s ours.

11. We know a solid tie game can get us far in life.


12. We’re reminded from time to time that we’ve still got it.

13. When it comes down to it, you can’t give a shit about what people think.


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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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