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If you hate soccer but clicked on this, PLEASE STAY. This is for you.
Hate it or love it, soccer is a great sport. If you hate it, I’m sorry, but the truth is you’re vastly outnumbered on this earth. I used to be one of you. I used to loathe watching the sport. I also used to despise golf and hockey. Now on any given Sunday you can find me taking in the final round of a golf tournament or listening to the electric play-by-play of Doc Emrick, and yes, many Saturday and Sunday mornings you can find me watching soccer. I’m not going to sit here and try and convert you if you don’t like watching the sport. That would be an exercise in futility. What I can sell you on, however, is patriotism and beer. That’s easier than your sister after too much tequila.
I just came back from a soccer bar after watching my home country get dismantled by Messi and Argentina. It was like if 1999 Pedro Martinez faced a college baseball team. If I’d been sitting on my couch watching this, I’d probably have turned over to see Clay Buchholz pitch for the Red Sox (painful) or even tuned into Nick At Nite for some Full House nostalgia. It was simply difficult to watch the US national team try and play on the same field as the best team in the world. But I sit here having had an excellent night, and the reason is the venue I watched the game at.
There’s a soccer bar in Cambridge that draws crowds. Plain and simple. It’s a Liverpool bar primarily, so I personally go there mostly when Tottenham plays the Reds (#COYS), but if there’s a big soccer game on, this bar is playing it. I can’t stress this enough: if there’s a big soccer game, find your city’s closest soccer bar and post up for it, especially if it’s a US national game.
As soon as the anthem started playing at NRG in Houston, the entire bar burst into chorus, raucously belting the Star Spangled Banner, with a deafening “USA” chant following. The moment, in a word, was chilling. Mix in a solid buzz from the pre-game beers, and everyone was amped for the game, like Ray Lewis himself had spoken directly to the bar before kickoff.
Now, you may know very little about soccer, and that’s okay. You ever watch a hockey game with a guy who gets excited about a blue line to blue line pass with speed bursting through the neutral zone? Or seen a guy get a half chub from watching a pitcher set a hitter up by mixing pitches artfully, changing speed and eye level? Sometimes you know why your friend is riveted, even if the result isn’t ideally what they wanted. But it was the way in which the sequence unfolded that got the excitement level ratcheted up. You may not know what to look for when watching soccer, and I understand that. I sympathize with that. I promise you, if you go to a soccer bar the crowd will guide your excitement. They will dictate the pace, and you will follow. When a good ball is played and people start to sense a big play developing, the noise begins to crescendo in a way that’s sure to make your nipples hard. Trust me, you won’t be let down.
Last night, unfortunately, we were not graced with a goal of our own, though on four separate occasions the small faction of Argentinians in the corner of the bar collectively lost their minds when their footballers systematically took apart the US defense and netted two goals in each half. To say I was jealous would be an understatement. I know the feeling of being in a soccer bar when the home team scores; it’s utter chaos, an absolute electric atmosphere. I remember two years ago for the World Cup when the US played Portugal, I went to the Boston House of Blues where they showed the game, and the place was packed to the gills. When we scored, the building shook. Beer was launched from the upper deck. The crowd broke into the greatest “USA” chant I’ve ever been apart of. This will be what it’s like at a soccer bar when the home crowd scores.
Saturday night at 8 p.m. EST, do yourself a favor and march your ass to your closest soccer bar, post up with a patriotic beer (I’d pick Sam Adams, but that’s just me being a homer), and root for the national team. I promise, if you don’t have fun, I’ll Venmo you for your beers..
Image via YouTube
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
I’m not a huge fan of soccer, but went to the World Cup in Brazil in 2014. Best trip of my life. Drinking a caipirinha (or 7) and watching Mexicans, Dutch, Americans, Colombians, etc. all yell at each other, drink together and brag about their country was awesome. Side note: Croatia had the best looking women surprisingly.
Eastern European and Mediterranean women are absolutely gorgeous.
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That Messi goal last night was unreal. I know that soccer gets a lot of hate in the US, but none of the other major sports have anything that matches the beauty of scoring from a 30 yard free kick.
Not a soccer fan but I had my very first soccer bar experience last week. It was absolutely electric.
If you’re down in NYC, Legends is the primary home of the USMNT. 33rd and 5th across from the ESB. Used to be one of the only bars in NYC to play games back in the early 00’s. Now, most teams have their own bars. Man City has The Mad Hatter, Arsenal has The Blind Pig, Man U has Smithfields, Everton has Mr. Dennehy’s, for Spurs you want Flannery’s on 14th. I’m still partial to Legends though because Chelsea has stayed there. Which brings me to my next point, fuck Spurs.
America.
Brostonian do you ever watch at Kinsale the Boston Spurs bar? Not a spurs fan but my roommate is and watching the game there was pretty entertaining.
Extremely here for this. I went to an Arsenal bar the first day of the Euros and when Payet scored the game-winner we all lost our minds. It’s a great atmosphere.
I think there’s a difference between watching soccer and watching international rivalries play out on a field. Sure, I’ll watch the World Cup and glance up at the Copa Americana occasionally, but I’m never going to watch an MLS game.
That’s why you watch the Premiere League
And La Liga.
And Serie A.
And The Bundesliga.
Don’t forget Champions League for the best of the best.
“That’s easier than your sister after too much tequila.”
Classic Boston sports fan move to throw in a totally unprovoked dig
Don’t care, still hate soccer.
Seriously, I’ve TRIED to like it. Made myself watch. Still don’t care, it’s still a bunch of dudes chasing a ball not scoring.
Part of what makes it great is that they don’t score much, it makes every play and chance that much more meaningful and impactful.
You can also make a pretty easy argument that it’s more exciting than, say baseball. The average MLB game is 176 minutes long. With a stop between the action literally every pitch.
People constantly bitch about soccer, but they more than likely don’t give it a fair shot. The pace and flow of a game (even a low scoring game) is often times more exciting to watch than other sports. The point of this article was talking about the environment of watching it in a bar–which is really second to none.
Exactly. A defensive football game between two blue-bloods can end 10-7, and people will consider it a great game (which it is). A hockey game ending 1-0 is way more exciting than a 5-3 game in my opinion. A 1-0 baseball game is amazing to watch. But people hate soccer because there’s a chance that the game will end 1-0 or 0-0.
False. It makes it boring. Invest 90 minutes (plus ambiguous injury time) in something that ends 0-0 and a shootout? I’d rather watch a Peppa Pig marathon.
I might get downvoted into oblivion for this, but the average football game lasts three hours and there’s roughly 12 – 13 minutes of actual action. Talk about downtime……..
I think it could draw more attention here if taking a dive wasn’t actively encouraged.
Look, I’m with you, but there’s no point in arguing with soccer fans.