Lovely bachelor in his early 20's grew up as a suburban "country" boy, graduated from a state school in Pennsylvania, and now lives in the concrete jungle otherwise known as NYC.
What fucking gym do you go to? Please don’t say Planet Fitness because that’s not a gym. That’s a big fucking building with treadmills and no one working out.
Gym, cook dinner, pack for my 3 day (over the weekend) work trip, stay up until 3am playing Madden/ Bloodborne/ COD, drive to the airport, fall asleep on my 4 hour flight to Cali.
Solid list, but I would like to add that Thou shall not raid my fridge.
Honestly, when I used to have one night stands (now in a solid 10 month relationship) I wouldn’t mind waking up and cooking some eggs and shit if the girl was still there. However, this one time I wake up and look in my fridge to notice that the leftover slice of cheesecake, and my last bagel was gone.
She legit woke up earlier than me, munched out on the food, and went back to bed or some combination like that. My subtle hit for its time to leave consisted of “yeah sorry I gotta head out, need to hit the grocery store since I don’t have any food”.
Honestly, it’s all about the combo creativity. Front flip with a can opener finish – fuck yeah! I would spend all day on those damn diving boards trying to perfect my craft. Than we all hit high school and it was considered gay to hit those diving boards, take me back to my youth 🙁
Maybe you should ask them to turn the thermostat up in the office. Just look for the nearest male and have them do it since you clearly fend for yourself.
1) As long as my partner offers shower sex, I’m taking advantage of it.
2) If you can’t pick up a petite 115lb chick and get some humps in than you’re just pathetic. Hit the gym loser.
This is actually very solid advice there Mr. McGannon. Sexy time is far too rare to not appreciate, yet no sexy time is worth losing your job over, especially if it’s a place you enjoy working at. At least it wasn’t his boss.
I have a buddy (24), who had sex with his boss (female, 33) after drinks one night on a business trip to San Deigo. She wanted to keep it going and when he wanted to call it off she skipped over him for a promotion, and at his annual review she informed him he was not getting a raise. He eventually realized he was on a sinking ship and bolted to a different company that he hates.
Whiskey_Tango
Age: 15 (and 10 months)
Location: Parents house, my bed
That Special Moment:
I was a Sophomore, and didn’t have the best of luck with ladies at that time. By no means was I unpopular, but neither was I one of the most popular. I was in that meaty part of the popular versus no one likes you crowd. I volunteered my study hall to be a gym class aide, which essentially let me get out of a boring ass study hall and just help the gym teachers with whatever activities were going on that day. This allowed me to get to know some upper class girls. The one girl Jess was a standout Field Hockey star (reached scholarship at Villanova). She had just broken up with her boyfriend and thought I was cute (she called me her “little Sophomore” even though I was taller than her). After a month or so she started to give me rides to and from school – invite me to parties on the weekends (which started to make me more popular). Eventually right after Christmas she dropped me off of school one day and asked if I was doing anything that day. I had JV basketball practice in 2 hours, but I told her nothing til than. She had noticed my parents were never home when she dropped me off, and asked to come in.
Naturally at this point I wasn’t stupid and I had an idea of what might happen but it was all too surreal, she was by far one of the top 10 hottest girls in my school. We went right to my room and started making out, after a while she helped undo my belt and started giving me head (first time for that as well). I came once from the head, than she pulled out a condom and asked if I was ready to go again. I was young and full of energy back than, so we went right into sex. Honestly, it felt like I lasted an hour, but i would guess I was in the 2-5 minute range.
Afterwards she told me never to tell anyone, she said she would deny it if I did. So I didn’t tell a soul and I was rewarded by her wanting to fuck me for several more months. Eventually she leaked to her friends she was fucking me (by this time I was 16, she was 18) and my popularity grew. Although some of the seniors hated me because they wanted to fuck he, they never gave me too much shit.
Rating: 8/10 – Probably the best way I could have imagined to lose my virginity.
All I’m saying is I’m hitting my uncles cabin in the heart of the Appalachian Mountain. All I need to do it make it out of NYC and I’m home free, that place is as remote as could be. The Ebolapocalypse could be over for years and no one up there would know due to poor cell phone / radio / TV reception.
This column is incredibly accurate. I’m a post grad living in Brooklyn, and in order to get Chipotle, I need to take the subway, than transfer to a different train, than transfer to a bus that back tracks to the area were Chipotle is, all in all its 25 min ordeal (if you time it right), just to enjoy a delicious burrito.
What guys are really thinking on a first date:.
1) I wonder if my breath smells
2) I hope I get laid tonight
3) I swear if she orders the most expensive item on the menu I better get laid tonight
4) Nice, she’s already 2 martini’s down.
5) I hope I get laid tonight
6) And there goes a 3rd martini, things are looking up for me.
7) I really hope I’m getting laid tonight.
8) Alright I’ll offer to share a cab back to her place.
9) Walking her to the door, please tell me I’m getting laid tonight.
10) Looks like I’m not getting laid tonight, those martini’s have her hugging the toilet. Fuck.
I’m not at “25”, but at 24 I can officially say I experienced the dating up predicament. This past Memorial Day Weekend a few pledge brothers of mine visited me in NYC. Long story short we met a group of girls in their 30’s. We ended up taking them back to my hole in the wall apartment. Mine was 30, and my buddies had 30 and 31 respectively.
Side note, she lives on Long Island and since Memorial Day Weekend we met up 2 other times for “dates”, or as I like to call it – let’s eat dinner and than bang.
Advertise
What fucking gym do you go to? Please don’t say Planet Fitness because that’s not a gym. That’s a big fucking building with treadmills and no one working out.
Gym, cook dinner, pack for my 3 day (over the weekend) work trip, stay up until 3am playing Madden/ Bloodborne/ COD, drive to the airport, fall asleep on my 4 hour flight to Cali.
Solid list, but I would like to add that Thou shall not raid my fridge.
Honestly, when I used to have one night stands (now in a solid 10 month relationship) I wouldn’t mind waking up and cooking some eggs and shit if the girl was still there. However, this one time I wake up and look in my fridge to notice that the leftover slice of cheesecake, and my last bagel was gone.
She legit woke up earlier than me, munched out on the food, and went back to bed or some combination like that. My subtle hit for its time to leave consisted of “yeah sorry I gotta head out, need to hit the grocery store since I don’t have any food”.
“10:40 am: If I had to choose how they’ll finish right now, I’m going (1) Adam Scott, (2) ZJ, (3) Spieth. That’s just how it feels right now.”
I don’t know man, my gut is telling me – (1) Jason Day, (T2) Zach Johnson, Adam Scott, & Marc Leishman, (4) Spieth.
Or Speith just pulls a fucking power move and goes on a tear.
Honestly, it’s all about the combo creativity. Front flip with a can opener finish – fuck yeah! I would spend all day on those damn diving boards trying to perfect my craft. Than we all hit high school and it was considered gay to hit those diving boards, take me back to my youth 🙁
Maybe you should ask them to turn the thermostat up in the office. Just look for the nearest male and have them do it since you clearly fend for yourself.
1) As long as my partner offers shower sex, I’m taking advantage of it.
2) If you can’t pick up a petite 115lb chick and get some humps in than you’re just pathetic. Hit the gym loser.
This is actually very solid advice there Mr. McGannon. Sexy time is far too rare to not appreciate, yet no sexy time is worth losing your job over, especially if it’s a place you enjoy working at. At least it wasn’t his boss.
I have a buddy (24), who had sex with his boss (female, 33) after drinks one night on a business trip to San Deigo. She wanted to keep it going and when he wanted to call it off she skipped over him for a promotion, and at his annual review she informed him he was not getting a raise. He eventually realized he was on a sinking ship and bolted to a different company that he hates.
Start a tumbler and you never know.
Honestly, the people in Ferguson reap what they sow. They burn it down, they should pay the consequences.
That guy sort of looks like Mcgannon. AmIright?
Whiskey_Tango
Age: 15 (and 10 months)
Location: Parents house, my bed
That Special Moment:
I was a Sophomore, and didn’t have the best of luck with ladies at that time. By no means was I unpopular, but neither was I one of the most popular. I was in that meaty part of the popular versus no one likes you crowd. I volunteered my study hall to be a gym class aide, which essentially let me get out of a boring ass study hall and just help the gym teachers with whatever activities were going on that day. This allowed me to get to know some upper class girls. The one girl Jess was a standout Field Hockey star (reached scholarship at Villanova). She had just broken up with her boyfriend and thought I was cute (she called me her “little Sophomore” even though I was taller than her). After a month or so she started to give me rides to and from school – invite me to parties on the weekends (which started to make me more popular). Eventually right after Christmas she dropped me off of school one day and asked if I was doing anything that day. I had JV basketball practice in 2 hours, but I told her nothing til than. She had noticed my parents were never home when she dropped me off, and asked to come in.
Naturally at this point I wasn’t stupid and I had an idea of what might happen but it was all too surreal, she was by far one of the top 10 hottest girls in my school. We went right to my room and started making out, after a while she helped undo my belt and started giving me head (first time for that as well). I came once from the head, than she pulled out a condom and asked if I was ready to go again. I was young and full of energy back than, so we went right into sex. Honestly, it felt like I lasted an hour, but i would guess I was in the 2-5 minute range.
Afterwards she told me never to tell anyone, she said she would deny it if I did. So I didn’t tell a soul and I was rewarded by her wanting to fuck me for several more months. Eventually she leaked to her friends she was fucking me (by this time I was 16, she was 18) and my popularity grew. Although some of the seniors hated me because they wanted to fuck he, they never gave me too much shit.
Rating: 8/10 – Probably the best way I could have imagined to lose my virginity.
I actually plan on doing #5 to all the new pledges.
All I’m saying is I’m hitting my uncles cabin in the heart of the Appalachian Mountain. All I need to do it make it out of NYC and I’m home free, that place is as remote as could be. The Ebolapocalypse could be over for years and no one up there would know due to poor cell phone / radio / TV reception.
This column is incredibly accurate. I’m a post grad living in Brooklyn, and in order to get Chipotle, I need to take the subway, than transfer to a different train, than transfer to a bus that back tracks to the area were Chipotle is, all in all its 25 min ordeal (if you time it right), just to enjoy a delicious burrito.
G.O.A.T.
What guys are really thinking on a first date:.
1) I wonder if my breath smells
2) I hope I get laid tonight
3) I swear if she orders the most expensive item on the menu I better get laid tonight
4) Nice, she’s already 2 martini’s down.
5) I hope I get laid tonight
6) And there goes a 3rd martini, things are looking up for me.
7) I really hope I’m getting laid tonight.
8) Alright I’ll offer to share a cab back to her place.
9) Walking her to the door, please tell me I’m getting laid tonight.
10) Looks like I’m not getting laid tonight, those martini’s have her hugging the toilet. Fuck.
I’m not at “25”, but at 24 I can officially say I experienced the dating up predicament. This past Memorial Day Weekend a few pledge brothers of mine visited me in NYC. Long story short we met a group of girls in their 30’s. We ended up taking them back to my hole in the wall apartment. Mine was 30, and my buddies had 30 and 31 respectively.
Side note, she lives on Long Island and since Memorial Day Weekend we met up 2 other times for “dates”, or as I like to call it – let’s eat dinner and than bang.
TL;DR – I’m 24, she’s 30 and she digs me, hard.
What the hell did I just read?
^ Are you stupid or something?