James Bond knows what the weight of an empty gun feels like. I’m the same way with my stapler. PGP.

Acromyms.PGP.

Just cracked open a tall boy…..of Arizona Iced Tea. PGP.

Saw an old college hookup on a reality show on Bravo. PGP

Gave in my two weeks. People keep saying “We will miss you”. How am I supposed to respond to that? PGP.

One day I am going to tie my tie right the first time #PGP

Listening to stories about people’s kids. PGP

Is it 5:00 yet? PGP.

“Tag me in that” is now “don’t post that”

Saw my boss on tinder, automatically swiped left. He just asked me why I didn’t swip right, I’m not sure if he was joking or not.