It will take me approximately 157 years at my current salary to earn what 21 year old Jordan Speith has earned so far in 2015. PGP

I got a deluxe office chair because I said I was in a car accident. I’ve never been in a car accident.

Getting written up for telling my boss “it’s not my job to vacuum” PGP

I go on vacation tomorrow. I mentally checked out yesterday. PGP

Signed a new lease on Friday, got notified on Monday I’m being moved to Connecticut. PGP.

Went to lunch at Twin Peaks yesterday, caught myself watching golf lessons on the big TV the whole time. PGP.

Had to actually send a fax today. In the year 2015. PGP.

Put in my two weeks on Friday, was given two whole new projects on Monday.

Read, respond, delete 5 emails, refresh, 10 more pop into inbox. PGP.

Wishing work hours went by as fast as lunch hour. PGP.