I just Ralph’d in the break room trash can.

Getting hyped up on LinkedIn Inbox messages only to realize they’re just either generic or computer generated messages. PGP

I’m pretty sure my interview yesterday was for a Ponzi scheme. PGP.

Went to my upstairs neighbors to tell them they were being too loud. It was 10 p.m.. On Friday.

“Happy birthday! Do you have any plans?!” – colleague you’ve never talked to

“Do you want your door open, closed, … ?” PGP.

Coworkers still quote the GEICO hump day commercial. Every. Single. Week.

My car is too old to drive for uber

I wish I was half as happy as I sound in my emails. PGP.

My office wife works in the branch on the other side of the country. PGP