Inside sales at a small company you've never heard of. When I'm not on PGP, you can usually find me having a panic attack during a cold call or spilling coffee on my Tommy Bahama linen shirt. Sometimes I'm funny, but most of the time I'm just a dick.
Iliza Shlesinger is the only female comedian that I find genuinely funny. Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer have never made me laugh. It might have something to do with Iliza being so much hotter though…
I definitely want to be the dad who just over films the fuck out of everything. Except the mother of my children giving birth. No one wants to see that.
“I don’t know anyone in HR that is well-adjusted.” Truer words have not been spoken. Speaking of Bill Nye, he’s on Netflix now. I think I might educate myself on some muthafuckin science at work.
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Picking your own shitty kid dead last would be a huge PGPM.
The dude who wants to fight everyone gets kicked out almost immediately. The bachelorette party stays forever. Bachelorette party is so much worse.
Ivy League Jessica was an entitled bitch before her massive student debt and mediocre job. We all like her better this way.
I hope he gets lost in the desert next. Permanently.
You misspelled “Reagan,” you fucking hippie.
High School Me was a douchebag. Present Day Me is an asshole. I’m satisfied with how things are transitioning.
Hot Piece isn’t THAT young. Her dad’s pretty chill though.
*Rent a tent in the woods together.
3-5 drinks is usually the sweet spot. Not self-conscious but also not slurring.
I see we’ve moved on from stories about shitting our pants to just stories about shitting.
Iliza Shlesinger is the only female comedian that I find genuinely funny. Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer have never made me laugh. It might have something to do with Iliza being so much hotter though…
I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.
That would explain all the mandatory sensitivity training.
You’re trying way to hard to be a redneck, man. We get it.
I definitely want to be the dad who just over films the fuck out of everything. Except the mother of my children giving birth. No one wants to see that.
Sperry would probably murder her in her sleep if he could.
There are few in this world that I love more than a perfectly executed windmill high five. Fight me.
That’s almost definitely sexual harassment.
“I don’t know anyone in HR that is well-adjusted.” Truer words have not been spoken. Speaking of Bill Nye, he’s on Netflix now. I think I might educate myself on some muthafuckin science at work.
Rookie mistake. Pros puke out the window.