Inside sales at a small company you've never heard of. When I'm not on PGP, you can usually find me having a panic attack during a cold call or spilling coffee on my Tommy Bahama linen shirt. Sometimes I'm funny, but most of the time I'm just a dick.
You DO realize boats can go in the ocean, right? Half your argument for the lake is about being on a boat. I’m not really sure you understand how boats work.
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It’s not the ocean’s fault that you can’t handle a few waves, chief.
Enjoy the cancer from the DEET. I’ll be playing beach volleyball with women in bikinis.
You DO realize boats can go in the ocean, right? Half your argument for the lake is about being on a boat. I’m not really sure you understand how boats work.
Watching Bob Ross paint may actually be my newest treatment for the Sunday Scaries.
Consuming adderall and drunk joy-riding with llamas. PGPM.
“I smoked weed for him!” You make that sound like a punishment. Did he lock you in his car while he hotboxed it?
Trust me, your divorce will be a lot funnier for us than any of these submissions
Willing to bite the bullet on the virgin if she’s decent looking.
So are you saying I should take up knitting and pottery?
Don’t have children.
“Awolnation.” “MMA.” I automatically hate you.
30 minutes is not long distance. If you can spend the weekend with them without getting on a plane, it’s not long distance. It’s just laziness.
Oh great, TFM leftovers. You’re better than this, Dave.
Yeah, what the talking water cooler said.
That’s how you get nut cancer.
Now I’m just imagining a baby with Wolf Blitzer’s face. Not good.
Scott Walker wishes that he was half as cool as this guy.
Rural Pennsylvania is like the Arkansas of the North.
I didn’t realize I was such a piece of shit for liking Offspring. That’s OK ’cause I got no self esteem. Ohwayoooooooooooooooo
My birthday is on Tuesday. Today’s all about the woman who gave me life. Good article Shibbster.