Our boss must celebrate Festivus, because he definitely just led an Airing of Grievances. PGP.

I feel congratulations are in order. Our warehouse has officially gone eleven days without a stabbing incident. PGP.

Having to scour WeightWatchers.com to find the (apparently) mysterious number of points a decent beer will cost me. I just want to drink a damn beer. PGP.

Less than a year of marriage under my belt and I’ve already been put on Weight Watchers. PGP.

When the guy in the next cubicle clips his fingernails, they somehow land on my keyboard. Every single time. PGP.