Holy shit my timeline is nauseating. PGP.

1: “Did you see my email?”2: “Yeah… Looking at it right now…” PGP

I stole toilet paper from my work. PGP.

“You were such a loyal supporter of the fraternity as an undergrad, would you consider making a recurring donation now that you’re an alumni?”

My manager is having a grad party for getting her masters. I didn’t get invited.

I don’t go to happy hour with my coworkers for fear of getting drunk and telling them how much I hate them

“When I was your age, I was just like you.” PGP.

Finally got laid by using eharmonys free trial weekend. PGP.

Almost forgot I had to work today. PGP.