Everyone around me is either in a committed relationship or too old to hang out together. PGP.

My life is now just a never ending cycle of Pepto-Bismol and sleeping pills. PGP.

Leaving one suit coat at your desk at all times so your boss doesn’t know if you’ve truly left. PGP.

Middle management role with entry-level pay. PGP.

Switched from Spotify to Apple Music just to shake things up this month. PGP.

Getting a good night’s sleep, but still depending on coffee to get through the day. PGP.

Wine makes me sleepy. PGP.

I got drunk and bought the new Air Jordan golf shoes. Jesus help me. PGP.

Getting ghosted on Valentine’s weekend. PGP.

Saving money on car washes by parking outside during thunderstorms. PGP.