There’s a dead animal in the wall at the office. I’ve never seen anyone here more excited. PGP.

Feeling like a criminal when a LinkedIn connection endorses you for something you have no idea how to do. PGP.

Having your phone charger at your desk, but not at your apartment. PGP.

The next 5 to 10 generations of LeBron James’ relatives already have more money than I ever will. PGP.

I literally do not know how to ask for days off.

Highlight of my day was bringing up my groceries in one trip. PGP

IT thought it would be funny to block ESPN for April Fools’ Day. PGP.

If my headphones ever came out, I would be fired.

Sizing up your boss in meetings, wondering if you could take him in a fight.