Smoked a drunk cigarette over the weekend, still have a lingering cough #PGP

Some college kids at a bar refereed to me “Blue” last night. PGP

“I’m really busy with work” being the go-to excuse for not dating. PGP.

There is a puddle of piss that accumulates under both urinals everyday by noon

The only other employee under 40 just quit. PGP.

It’s easier just to lie to people and say I’m still in college

Got excited when I was invited to get drinks with “the girls”. Bailed when I heard we weren’t meeting until 10pm. PGP.

I left the bar at 9:15 on Saturday because I was tired. PGP

My boss has half my education and twice my salary. PGP

Adopting a “maintain, don’t gain” diet mindset. PGP