I’m rocking with one unisex bathroom for about 10-12 people, 9 of which are 25-27 year old women. I’m a dude. It is my worst nightmare. The bane of my existence.
The 7/11 down the street has pepperoni Tombstone pizzas. I’ve been known to have the Uber drop me off there on the way home on a Saturday night. The veteran move is grabbing the Tombstone but also grabbing a slice of the 7/11 gas station pizza to curb your drunk appetite on the 3 block walk back to the apartment and while you wait for the oven to preheat.
When one set of grandparents are recovered alcoholics and the other are religious teetotalers thanksgiving day drinking = secretly sneaking bourbon into your iced tea in the pantry when no one is looking.
Going to a Chris Robinson Brotherhood concert by myself tonight. Waking up early tomorrow morning to deep clean my apartment and do laundry. Roommate is out of town. Not even worried about it.
After 5 minutes at the bar “yeah I’m running to the restroom be right back” as you frantically call an Uber to take you home so you can watch Netflix by yourself and go to bed.
Miami of Ohio is sleepaway camp for highly functioning alcoholics
Crippling credit card debt? Christmas presents.
I’m rocking with one unisex bathroom for about 10-12 people, 9 of which are 25-27 year old women. I’m a dude. It is my worst nightmare. The bane of my existence.
The wildly conservative pheasant hunting guides that took us out the day after thanksgiving: “So what exactly do you do for a living out there in DC?”
What I wanted to say: “oh yeah I actually do campaign finance for a bunch of Senate Democrats”
What I actually said: “um yeah you know charity work for veterans causes”
Mine went down 15 points from last month and I scoured my credit card activity for a solid half hour trying to figure out what I did wrong.
The 7/11 down the street has pepperoni Tombstone pizzas. I’ve been known to have the Uber drop me off there on the way home on a Saturday night. The veteran move is grabbing the Tombstone but also grabbing a slice of the 7/11 gas station pizza to curb your drunk appetite on the 3 block walk back to the apartment and while you wait for the oven to preheat.
When one set of grandparents are recovered alcoholics and the other are religious teetotalers thanksgiving day drinking = secretly sneaking bourbon into your iced tea in the pantry when no one is looking.
“Hahaha dude check it out I convinced my mom I’m even more of a dumbass than she already thought I was. I’m hilarious!”
Going to a Chris Robinson Brotherhood concert by myself tonight. Waking up early tomorrow morning to deep clean my apartment and do laundry. Roommate is out of town. Not even worried about it.
After 5 minutes at the bar “yeah I’m running to the restroom be right back” as you frantically call an Uber to take you home so you can watch Netflix by yourself and go to bed.
Landlord overcharged us for rent by $4k and won’t return our phone calls.
Mentally/physically preparing for election night on Tuesday. Russia house for half priced vodka martinis and election interference.