I could pretty much watch Schmidt (or Max Greenfield, as he’s known in the real world) do anything at this point and not get sick of it.

I now feel like a total dumbass for eating out every meal.

I feel like I’m closer than retirement than I am to 1995.

I, for one, was surprised to find out that he’s still alive.

Okay, I like what I see thus far.

Seriously, though, where does it all go?

Honestly though, you could tell me that he actually said all these things and I probably wouldn’t doubt you.

Yeah, he pretty much nailed it.

It might be the traditionalist in me, but I just feel like they shouldn’t have changed the words.