Never getting used to how awkward you sound on your voicemail. PGP.

“Come to think of it, I probably had a drinking problem in college.” PGP.

“I have to contribute to society tomorrow.” PGP.

Should’ve invented Tumblr. PGP.

Brunch, the gateway meal. PGP.

“I’ll be getting up for work in a little over 30 hours.” PGP.

“Isn’t it a little early to be drinking this much?” PGP.

Flushing with your foot just to be safe. PGP.

Staring down at your phone to avoid conversation during long elevator rides. PGP.

“Is it the Sweet n Low or Equal that has the harmful stuff in it?” PGP.