I usually drink my coffee black, so small coffee shops drive me crazy. I’d rather pay $1 for a McDonalds coffee than $3 for a locally roasted Americano that’s half the size. If I want a milkshake with some coffee in it, I’ll go to the shop down the street. If I want to wake the fuck up in the morning, it’s Mickey D’s.
Well, it’s not exactly like they introduce her as “former adult film star and current camgirl/instagram model Mia Khalifa” so if you’re not all over the ‘hub you might not know.
This article sounds like I could have written it. Especially the “saying stupid shit” part. Every dad joke is met with an “I hate you” or “Why did I marry you again?”, I constantly say things that make no sense to anyone outside my own head, and I regularly get caught up talking to people at bars half an hour after she wanted to drive my drunk ass home.
I’m going to ignore the entirety of this article except for the part where you put Dom Perignon and STELLA FUCKING ARTOIS in the same sentence. One is a fine vintage champagne, and the other is a slightly-above-average Belgian Pilsner that you can get for $9 per six pack (which is more than you should spend on a beer of that quality). You can dress up your carbonated water all you want, but goddamn, get your booze comparisons in check.
Roasted up some red bell peppers and stuffed them with a sweet Italian sausage, sautéed onions, garlic, and rosemary. Topped it all off with a healthy dose of cheese. My mouth feels greasy, but I ate a pepper so I can feel healthy.
They’re also known to kill smaller animals like seals and play with the corpses. You know who else does that? Fucking serial killers. Dolphins are scary as shit.
I KNOW I’M LATE TO THE GAME BUT I CLOSED A DEAL ON TWITTER THIS MORNING. YEAH, YOU READ THAT RIGHT, MOTHER FUCKERS. I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED TO CLOSE A DEAL. NOW I JUST NEED TO TALK THE WIFE INTO PUTTING A KEURIG IN THE BEDROOM AND I’LL HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT WHEN I WAKE UP.
I barely give a shit about the lives of people I know and interact with on a daily basis. Why the hell would I go down a rabbit hole of someone’s Instagram just to learn whether or not they’re dating their friend’s ex boyfriend? There are so many better things to do with your time. I’ve enjoyed most of your articles, but this one’s left a bad taste in my mouth.
I HAVEN’T HAD A DAY OFF IN WEEKS AND I’M PULLING DOUBLE DUTY THIS WEEK TO TRAIN EMPLOYEES IN A DIFFERENT CITY COFFEE IS THE FUMES THAT KEEP THIS CAR COASTING!
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I usually drink my coffee black, so small coffee shops drive me crazy. I’d rather pay $1 for a McDonalds coffee than $3 for a locally roasted Americano that’s half the size. If I want a milkshake with some coffee in it, I’ll go to the shop down the street. If I want to wake the fuck up in the morning, it’s Mickey D’s.
Fiona keeps me going in the darkest of times.
That’s a tough break, but you did the right thing. Sorry, Charlie.
Well, it’s not exactly like they introduce her as “former adult film star and current camgirl/instagram model Mia Khalifa” so if you’re not all over the ‘hub you might not know.
The message and the avatar are a truly disturbing combination here.
My wife and I have the understanding that if I see her naked, I’m gonna have me a grab. It’s a fuckin’ miracle this woman let me marry her.
This article sounds like I could have written it. Especially the “saying stupid shit” part. Every dad joke is met with an “I hate you” or “Why did I marry you again?”, I constantly say things that make no sense to anyone outside my own head, and I regularly get caught up talking to people at bars half an hour after she wanted to drive my drunk ass home.
They’re saints, truly.
I’m going to ignore the entirety of this article except for the part where you put Dom Perignon and STELLA FUCKING ARTOIS in the same sentence. One is a fine vintage champagne, and the other is a slightly-above-average Belgian Pilsner that you can get for $9 per six pack (which is more than you should spend on a beer of that quality). You can dress up your carbonated water all you want, but goddamn, get your booze comparisons in check.
Ooh, man, I love pie. Can’t wait.
I don’t think anything has ever turned me off quite as much as your depiction of sex. Damn, Nick.
Fair warning, this fella may not have the purest intentions.
Roasted up some red bell peppers and stuffed them with a sweet Italian sausage, sautéed onions, garlic, and rosemary. Topped it all off with a healthy dose of cheese. My mouth feels greasy, but I ate a pepper so I can feel healthy.
Bagel and Deli is the restaurant I always forget that I need. I think I’m due for a trip to Oxford…
Not even a sleepy handjob. Todd, you closer, you.
They’re also known to kill smaller animals like seals and play with the corpses. You know who else does that? Fucking serial killers. Dolphins are scary as shit.
I KNOW I’M LATE TO THE GAME BUT I CLOSED A DEAL ON TWITTER THIS MORNING. YEAH, YOU READ THAT RIGHT, MOTHER FUCKERS. I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED TO CLOSE A DEAL. NOW I JUST NEED TO TALK THE WIFE INTO PUTTING A KEURIG IN THE BEDROOM AND I’LL HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT WHEN I WAKE UP.
I barely give a shit about the lives of people I know and interact with on a daily basis. Why the hell would I go down a rabbit hole of someone’s Instagram just to learn whether or not they’re dating their friend’s ex boyfriend? There are so many better things to do with your time. I’ve enjoyed most of your articles, but this one’s left a bad taste in my mouth.
PGP in 2017? It’s lit.
I HAVEN’T HAD A DAY OFF IN WEEKS AND I’M PULLING DOUBLE DUTY THIS WEEK TO TRAIN EMPLOYEES IN A DIFFERENT CITY COFFEE IS THE FUMES THAT KEEP THIS CAR COASTING!
Used to work in HR. I escaped that hellhole now but I can’t change my name on here to “TheTriviaGuy”.