Pepto Bismol

A professional business person by day, a professional goofball by night. I enjoy a strong whiskey ginger and a nice bubble butt to grab a hold of in the evening. I putt like a champ, but spend most of my days in the rough cause of my slice. A first date with me will always be a mystery because I don't buy the Groupon for dinner until the morning of.

Member Since 06/07/2013

A 23-year-old just won the World Cup for his country. All I’ve done for mine is pay taxes. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

The two pregnant women in the office are skinnier than me. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

“Afternoon Delight” now refers to a post-lunch BM. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

My coworker just turned on her space heater. We’re in Texas and it’s July. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Not only living with your parents, but going to sleep before them. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

My boss wanted to see an Excel video on YouTube, and I instinctively typed YouJizz. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

When the bank teller asks if you’d like a complimentary financial planning session after looking at your account. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Got drunk last night and endorsed every single one of my connections on LinkedIn. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Forgot to put on deodorant this morning. Had to train a hot new intern. She was repulsed by me. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Jared Leto visited our office for some reason today. Almost asked him if he’s still handling the Fisher account. PGP.

Post Grad Problems