That’s why I don’t write columns anymore. Instead, I write little morsels of sexiness in order to incrementally make people realize that most thugs are dumb and that many people forget that we live in a world that’s literally covered in feces so if they think they’re “the shit”, they’re sort of right but at the same time so wrong lol
Hey guys, apparently some out-of-touch-with-reality politician thinks that pornography is responsible for school shootings which is hilarious because the only shootings that porn is responsible are penis ones after they’ve been milked….that’s a sad hand job joke, guys. I’ll be here all day in case you want more dope ass jokes or whatever lol
All you gotta say at these things is “congrats on creating another cog in the wheel of the corporate military-industrial oligarchy that will one day realize it’s fate as it’s suppressed in a cubicle in some overpriced urban landscape somewhere!” Yes, these people will never talk to you again buttttt have you ever noticed that the best places on Earth are where people aren’t? Lol
No, no you see, the premise of the joke was that the jacuzzi tub doubles as a bed that you never wake up from after realizing how many years it took to work your life away to save that much money on a home renovation that doesn’t even mean anything in order to put yourself in even more debt. Also, master bedrooms have bathrooms that are attached but segregated from the sleeping quarters of said room so old what you’re talking about but then again I can’t afford a place that has a master bedroom. I’m my place, where I sleep is basically wherever has the most padding lol
Everyone knows that the attached master bathroom with the jacuzzi jet tub is the best place to cry in candle light and lavender aroma oils with some prescription pills after a long 45 years at work lol
I’m literally never wrong about the shit I say. Some of it can’t even be googled that’s how right it is because they don’t want you to know. They can’t have a bunch of people questioning things and risk people not showing up to their dead end jobs in order to keep the syphoning system perpetuating for a small few lol
Since gluttony is a sin, we should be able to have our debts in a consumption culture forgiven after we all go to confession. This is what religion is for, guys. Yes, we’ll give kickbacks to the churches so they can launder it for the Satanic Global Elites who hide behind theology and still continue to swindle poor people as they repair their golden roofs and expand in economically depressed areas all over the world and not pay taxes at all but at least we can all sleep at night knowing that money, I mean God works in mysterious ways for us lol
Girl who’s in laws are very conservative: this will kill 2 birds with one stone in a sense…next time they bring up gun control/mass shootings and abortions, just casually remind them that they are essentially the same thing except a few years delayed. So in essence, the very thing they staunchly don’t believe in is exactly the other thing that they do believe in. This will go over swimmingly at the dinner table. Stay woke or whatever those idiots say lol
I for one am excited for when offices become more obsolete then they already are so no one has to care about what they look like as their body slowly gives out on them for 50 years in a cubicle. Algorithms don’t wear clothes and once they take over the only thing we’re gonna have to worry about is the amount of nuts and berries you forage in the woods without being shot by your fellow man or hunted by heat syncing drones who are defending the food supply for the ultra rich…so by all means, wear those god damn suspenders because they’re like a little metaphor for our lives just suspending into a deeper black hole of our own creation lol
I wouldn’t put anything past the CIA. Our lives are mostly pre-scripted for us. I know some of you may think you have the wanderlust bug but in reality, that country you’re going to visit just to throw up some IG pics probably had their government flipped in a coop via the CIA in order to eliminate true progressive actions. The whole idea is to keep everyone in a box and as long as you stay in that box, you get to die slowly while selling your soul but at least you don’t get you’re head blown out for trying something different (see JFK, MLK, Malcolm X, Pinochet, Cuba, Operation Northwoods, Operation Paperclip). The Royal Family are arbitrary people who appease the Rothschilds and the CIA under the intense oversight of the Zionist movement are like the “debt collectors” intelligently coming to break your knee caps to collect what’s theirs lol
Hey guys, I know you’ve probably seen the Big Short so now imagine that scenario happening when the student loan crisis bubbles over, now add in that same scenario for credit card debt, subprime auto loans, and a second real estate wave and we’ll have ourselves a nice little plot twist for a real life Purge scenario. Get your cameras because pretty soon it’s gonna be the easiest time to become a famous conflict photographer ever lol
They had her sacrifice a “lost boy” in the basement of the palace first. And then they all probably had sex with each other or something because they do some shady shit over there and they are action figures for the Rothschilds lol
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Things* hahaha
That’s why I don’t write columns anymore. Instead, I write little morsels of sexiness in order to incrementally make people realize that most thugs are dumb and that many people forget that we live in a world that’s literally covered in feces so if they think they’re “the shit”, they’re sort of right but at the same time so wrong lol
Hey guys, apparently some out-of-touch-with-reality politician thinks that pornography is responsible for school shootings which is hilarious because the only shootings that porn is responsible are penis ones after they’ve been milked….that’s a sad hand job joke, guys. I’ll be here all day in case you want more dope ass jokes or whatever lol
Feral Children approve this message lol
All you gotta say at these things is “congrats on creating another cog in the wheel of the corporate military-industrial oligarchy that will one day realize it’s fate as it’s suppressed in a cubicle in some overpriced urban landscape somewhere!” Yes, these people will never talk to you again buttttt have you ever noticed that the best places on Earth are where people aren’t? Lol
No, no you see, the premise of the joke was that the jacuzzi tub doubles as a bed that you never wake up from after realizing how many years it took to work your life away to save that much money on a home renovation that doesn’t even mean anything in order to put yourself in even more debt. Also, master bedrooms have bathrooms that are attached but segregated from the sleeping quarters of said room so old what you’re talking about but then again I can’t afford a place that has a master bedroom. I’m my place, where I sleep is basically wherever has the most padding lol
Yeah, fuck that guy. Dude sucks lol
Everyone knows that the attached master bathroom with the jacuzzi jet tub is the best place to cry in candle light and lavender aroma oils with some prescription pills after a long 45 years at work lol
I’m literally never wrong about the shit I say. Some of it can’t even be googled that’s how right it is because they don’t want you to know. They can’t have a bunch of people questioning things and risk people not showing up to their dead end jobs in order to keep the syphoning system perpetuating for a small few lol
Since gluttony is a sin, we should be able to have our debts in a consumption culture forgiven after we all go to confession. This is what religion is for, guys. Yes, we’ll give kickbacks to the churches so they can launder it for the Satanic Global Elites who hide behind theology and still continue to swindle poor people as they repair their golden roofs and expand in economically depressed areas all over the world and not pay taxes at all but at least we can all sleep at night knowing that money, I mean God works in mysterious ways for us lol
Girl who’s in laws are very conservative: this will kill 2 birds with one stone in a sense…next time they bring up gun control/mass shootings and abortions, just casually remind them that they are essentially the same thing except a few years delayed. So in essence, the very thing they staunchly don’t believe in is exactly the other thing that they do believe in. This will go over swimmingly at the dinner table. Stay woke or whatever those idiots say lol
Damn, people will do anything for money these days lol
I for one am excited for when offices become more obsolete then they already are so no one has to care about what they look like as their body slowly gives out on them for 50 years in a cubicle. Algorithms don’t wear clothes and once they take over the only thing we’re gonna have to worry about is the amount of nuts and berries you forage in the woods without being shot by your fellow man or hunted by heat syncing drones who are defending the food supply for the ultra rich…so by all means, wear those god damn suspenders because they’re like a little metaphor for our lives just suspending into a deeper black hole of our own creation lol
I wouldn’t put anything past the CIA. Our lives are mostly pre-scripted for us. I know some of you may think you have the wanderlust bug but in reality, that country you’re going to visit just to throw up some IG pics probably had their government flipped in a coop via the CIA in order to eliminate true progressive actions. The whole idea is to keep everyone in a box and as long as you stay in that box, you get to die slowly while selling your soul but at least you don’t get you’re head blown out for trying something different (see JFK, MLK, Malcolm X, Pinochet, Cuba, Operation Northwoods, Operation Paperclip). The Royal Family are arbitrary people who appease the Rothschilds and the CIA under the intense oversight of the Zionist movement are like the “debt collectors” intelligently coming to break your knee caps to collect what’s theirs lol
Hey guys, I know you’ve probably seen the Big Short so now imagine that scenario happening when the student loan crisis bubbles over, now add in that same scenario for credit card debt, subprime auto loans, and a second real estate wave and we’ll have ourselves a nice little plot twist for a real life Purge scenario. Get your cameras because pretty soon it’s gonna be the easiest time to become a famous conflict photographer ever lol
No thanks, Tom Hanks
In this cold dark world, what’s wrong with the warm embrace of your own urine? It’s sterile much like a lot of people and things these days lol
Ellio’s Pizza paired with some Miller Lites while shouting at the TV before some domestic violence and you built yourself an eventful Friday night lol
They had her sacrifice a “lost boy” in the basement of the palace first. And then they all probably had sex with each other or something because they do some shady shit over there and they are action figures for the Rothschilds lol
I’m still waiting for Elon Musk to buy Connecticut and turn it into a commuter parking lot for Hyperloop users between Boston and New York