Love this. I think the 45 years and out plan is pretty solid, you get to dabble with marriage, traveling, homeownership, dog parenting, investing, job hoping, drugs, alcoholism, skydiving, surfing, paying bills, starting a company and then you don’t really have to worry about not retiring while elderly, nursing homes, Florida going underwater, diseases, boredom, wheel chairs, friends/family dying or colostomy bags later on.
Now all we need is someone like Donald Trump to come and say some words about it, then the scene cuts to the shooting star with the rainbow trail behind it, then a Pepsi commercial of another celebrity drinking a can with a refreshing look on her face pops up.
Bridgeport? No one is happy in CT. It’s the most pointless state in the country. Delaware has more of an impact than CT. It’s economy is based from insurance sales and a women’s college basketball team. Also, Joe Scarborough lives there and that guy sucks.
You know who else drank the Kool-Aid? All the people who followed Jim Jones and look how that turned out. I’ll stick to my coffee and utter disdain for my employer.
No it was but I sprinkled little tid bits of the truth smothered in satire and sarcasm so that you could have it go down a little easier because I know you’re sensitive. Try not to get so offended today.
I’m a huge advocate for the Meth method. Give up coffee and take some meth and increase productivity ten fold while also remaining cost effective. Plus super human strength in high stress situations. What could possibly go wrong?
I’m just gonna put this argument to bed right now. You women get paid less because you don’t have to pay for dinners/drinks on dates and eventually pay for sex and commitment all to then get more than 50% of the shit after the divorce and you’re not expected to provide for a family financially. Also, we get paid more than you so we can afford to buy you useless shit on made up holidays like Valentines Day. That being said, to level with you ladies, I would never want to birth a child or have menstral cycles so touché but don’t complain about the 22 cent variance in pay on the dollar. There’s a reason why you have longer life expectancies than us men.
I usually apply to other jobs, randomly request money from friends on Venmo to see if they mistakenly bite, read these columns, flip through IG, take longer poops, walk around and contemplate walking out and never coming back. It works
It’s not that we’re lazy, it’s that we’ve grown up watching older generations work their lives away and realize that it’s not worth the fucking effort. I’m using all 10 days of my vacation every year and won’t feel bad about it at all. I’m not trying to get recognized as the guy who became a potted plant at his desk just to make enough money to impress people that probably aren’t fun to be around in the first place.
I lived in Hartford for 4 years for college and I pretty much would rather see it leveled and turned into a giant parking lot for Boston/NYC commuters. Either you work in insurance there or you sit on the sidewalk in shambles and smoke questionable drugs and drink mouthwash out of paper bags. The residential areas are weird as fuck too because on one side of the street there are legit mansion castles and on the other side it’s pretty much Syria surrounded by barbed wire fences.
Companies these days are now throwing out the manager title for everything. They decompartmentalize all these roles and slap on the manger title to make people feel more important while getting paid less to do more work. It’s a trap.
I’m not a geologist but for a small point in time it will raise the value in terms of frequency for us guys having to buy dinner and movies and flowers and shit like that in order to get the blowjob and then once we’ve gotten the blow jobs enough, it stops being valued so you’re right, the value goes down. But if they establish a good marketing campaign, they can use it against us in the name of exclusivity and limited supply and become like Kanye, Adidas, and Supreme
I mean, some girls are baby gravy aficionados. Can’t be throwing shade for that. But If you girls keep supplying the demand, it’s gonna raise the market value for blowjobs and then crash when it stops being a highly valued commodity. All I’m saying is pick your spots and give it some sense of exclusivity and a niche with limited releases to keep people on their toes and wanting more. Kind of like the Yeezy shoe thing but with dicks and stuff.
The thing that sucks is we might be the generation that will never get the satisfaction to write a giant “fuck you” send off. Needless to say, I’ve started writing mine already.
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Love this. I think the 45 years and out plan is pretty solid, you get to dabble with marriage, traveling, homeownership, dog parenting, investing, job hoping, drugs, alcoholism, skydiving, surfing, paying bills, starting a company and then you don’t really have to worry about not retiring while elderly, nursing homes, Florida going underwater, diseases, boredom, wheel chairs, friends/family dying or colostomy bags later on.
Trapdoor Tuesday.
Now all we need is someone like Donald Trump to come and say some words about it, then the scene cuts to the shooting star with the rainbow trail behind it, then a Pepsi commercial of another celebrity drinking a can with a refreshing look on her face pops up.
You guys hiring? I can dish a pretty mean curve serve in ping pong and I can also spell words pretty good. Sometimes.
Bridgeport? No one is happy in CT. It’s the most pointless state in the country. Delaware has more of an impact than CT. It’s economy is based from insurance sales and a women’s college basketball team. Also, Joe Scarborough lives there and that guy sucks.
You know who else drank the Kool-Aid? All the people who followed Jim Jones and look how that turned out. I’ll stick to my coffee and utter disdain for my employer.
So you don’t like sex but you like orgasms? Kind of putting the cart before the horse here.
No it was but I sprinkled little tid bits of the truth smothered in satire and sarcasm so that you could have it go down a little easier because I know you’re sensitive. Try not to get so offended today.
I’m a huge advocate for the Meth method. Give up coffee and take some meth and increase productivity ten fold while also remaining cost effective. Plus super human strength in high stress situations. What could possibly go wrong?
And you invested time in reading them just so what are you trying to say? Plus nothing I said wasn’t exactly far from the truth.
I hope you realize that it’s a joke and you’re on a blog that makes fun of things. Save your energy Mr. Male Feminist.
I’m just gonna put this argument to bed right now. You women get paid less because you don’t have to pay for dinners/drinks on dates and eventually pay for sex and commitment all to then get more than 50% of the shit after the divorce and you’re not expected to provide for a family financially. Also, we get paid more than you so we can afford to buy you useless shit on made up holidays like Valentines Day. That being said, to level with you ladies, I would never want to birth a child or have menstral cycles so touché but don’t complain about the 22 cent variance in pay on the dollar. There’s a reason why you have longer life expectancies than us men.
I usually apply to other jobs, randomly request money from friends on Venmo to see if they mistakenly bite, read these columns, flip through IG, take longer poops, walk around and contemplate walking out and never coming back. It works
It’s not that we’re lazy, it’s that we’ve grown up watching older generations work their lives away and realize that it’s not worth the fucking effort. I’m using all 10 days of my vacation every year and won’t feel bad about it at all. I’m not trying to get recognized as the guy who became a potted plant at his desk just to make enough money to impress people that probably aren’t fun to be around in the first place.
I lived in Hartford for 4 years for college and I pretty much would rather see it leveled and turned into a giant parking lot for Boston/NYC commuters. Either you work in insurance there or you sit on the sidewalk in shambles and smoke questionable drugs and drink mouthwash out of paper bags. The residential areas are weird as fuck too because on one side of the street there are legit mansion castles and on the other side it’s pretty much Syria surrounded by barbed wire fences.
Companies these days are now throwing out the manager title for everything. They decompartmentalize all these roles and slap on the manger title to make people feel more important while getting paid less to do more work. It’s a trap.
I’m on the diet water cleanse where you just breath air and hope that you make it through the work day for the next 45 years.
I’m not a geologist but for a small point in time it will raise the value in terms of frequency for us guys having to buy dinner and movies and flowers and shit like that in order to get the blowjob and then once we’ve gotten the blow jobs enough, it stops being valued so you’re right, the value goes down. But if they establish a good marketing campaign, they can use it against us in the name of exclusivity and limited supply and become like Kanye, Adidas, and Supreme
I mean, some girls are baby gravy aficionados. Can’t be throwing shade for that. But If you girls keep supplying the demand, it’s gonna raise the market value for blowjobs and then crash when it stops being a highly valued commodity. All I’m saying is pick your spots and give it some sense of exclusivity and a niche with limited releases to keep people on their toes and wanting more. Kind of like the Yeezy shoe thing but with dicks and stuff.
The thing that sucks is we might be the generation that will never get the satisfaction to write a giant “fuck you” send off. Needless to say, I’ve started writing mine already.