I’m a Gin & Tonic guy and my fight is with the bar manager who’s cutting me off because “I’m drunk at work” and “not serving the customers” or whatever.
Either being a good boyfriend and making the GF and I a healthy meal that works with her diet, or ordering chinese for myself while she eats salad and plots my murder.
I forgot to go grocery shopping and it’s about -4 degrees (with windchill) so I’ll be eating between 3-7 PB&J sandies while huddled in front of my space heater.
Met Miles Teller on a rooftop bar in San Diego. Yelled “you were funny as fuck in That Awkward Moment” at him and he gave me a super sarcastic thumbs up. 10/10 would live next to.
Does The NY Times do divorce announcements too? I gotta know how this comes crashing down when she finds out about the swath of illegitimate kids he’s fathered across the globe.
Advertise
LOADING UP THE DELIVERY VAN IN 28-DEGREE WEATHER I CANT FEEL MY HANDS BUT I CAN FEEL MY HEART AND ITS PUMPING SWEET SWEET CAFFEINE THROUGH MY VEINS.
Is…is “frozen lasagna” a euphemism for sex?
It’s like sticking your dick in a wood chipper. I blame Cosmo’s “hot sex tips.”
I regularly refer to myself as “daddy” in the third person. My friends fucking hate it.
1. Do you want to have a threesome/ can you convince my girlfriend? (0% success rate)
2. That dude who threw a jab at the kangaroo.
I’m a Gin & Tonic guy and my fight is with the bar manager who’s cutting me off because “I’m drunk at work” and “not serving the customers” or whatever.
Choco chip pancakes with what some have called “excessive” amounts of syrup.
I’m not even going to fix that typo, it’s better as is.
Just booked a last minute flight to Florida for Valentine’s Day weekend so I’ll be a single baby carrot for dinner for financial and fitness reasons.
Pro tip: Pregame aggressively. If you can’t remember the date, you can’t overthink it.
Either being a good boyfriend and making the GF and I a healthy meal that works with her diet, or ordering chinese for myself while she eats salad and plots my murder.
I’m on the fence.
Bout to start a ten hour shift at the bar so…shots and Redbull.
I forgot to go grocery shopping and it’s about -4 degrees (with windchill) so I’ll be eating between 3-7 PB&J sandies while huddled in front of my space heater.
Met Miles Teller on a rooftop bar in San Diego. Yelled “you were funny as fuck in That Awkward Moment” at him and he gave me a super sarcastic thumbs up. 10/10 would live next to.
The One Who Won’t Break Up With Me When She Reads This Column, I hope.
Does The NY Times do divorce announcements too? I gotta know how this comes crashing down when she finds out about the swath of illegitimate kids he’s fathered across the globe.
So a bunch of white people right-swiping each other?
I first met him a couple months ago:
https://pgparchive.wpengine.com/the-biggest-lies-i-told-when-meeting-my-girlfriends-dad/
I didn’t even realize what I had read and couldn’t figure out why I was so irrationally angry until you pointed it out.
Honestly, like once a week.