Pretending something’s wrong with my computer so I can restart it and not be expected to do anything for a couple minutes.

The office printer just got moved 50ft down the hall. Looks like I have a spring break weight loss plan after all. #PGP

Finally understanding the real meaning of “everybody’s working for the weekend”

The words “Spring Break” no longer excite me. Now they just make me dread the possibility of having a daughter. #PGP

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” PGP

Doing your morning routine the night before, not to be efficient, but to wake up as late as humanly possible.

The laughter that follows after telling a coworker what you actually majored in college.

All your best tweets going to your drafts to die cuz you’re paranoid the offensive content will get you fired

Sent to HR because I can’t responsibly accept my team being eliminated in the bracket. PGP.

Turns out 9 to 5 is just an expression