Discovering “the new laptop we have for you is being updated the rest of week” is code for “we forgot about you on your first week and need to buy one.” PGP.

Listening to my coworker talk about her newborn kid and having to feign interest in her stories about it rolling over. PGP.

Getting text messages from my boss before I get to work in the morning. PGP.

Back-to-back weekend weddings where the bride and groom are younger than you. PGP.

Legitimately getting a kick out of responding with “Not bad for a Monday” when asked how your day is going on a Tuesday. PGP.

If I had $1 for every time I heard the phrase “touch base” in the office, I could afford to add avocado to everything. PGP.

Phoned in to a meeting today that was taking place 20 feet from my desk. PGP.

Realizing your entry-level analyst job is a lot like administrative assistant. PGP.

My credit score dropped. PGP.

I set up an appointment for 8 a.m. on a Saturday because that was “more convenient.” PGP.