I don’t always get a free lunch at work. But when I do, I eat until I hate myself.

Half my friends are engaged and having kids, the other half are too drunk to even find their phones. PGP.

“We are continuing to monitor the adverse conditions in the Houston area. However, operations are expected to continue as normal.” PGP.

Mustered up the courage to ask for a half day today. No one else even showed up.

My manager texted me the angry emoji when I was 15 minutes late this morning.

Still not entirely sure what a “Trap Queen” is. PGP

I still throw up in parking lots. PGP.

Those people on the technical school commercials look more happy and successful than me. PGP.

I avoid websites I like at night so I can check them out on work time. PGP.