I can’t believe I was the best candidate for the job. I’m a dipshit employee. PGP.

Mint.com and I have much different definitions of the term “Low Balance on Checking.” PGP.

Checking your email during vacation out of habit. PGP.

I don’t remember the last time my bank account hit 5 digits. PGP.

90% of the emails I send start with “Sorry for the delay.” PGP.

That blissful couple of hours on payday when you have 4 digits in your checking account, before all the bills and rent come out. PGP.

Relating more to Ferris Bueller’s dad than Ferris. PGP.

Just got a raise. After taxes I am now bringing home an extra $17 every two weeks. PGP.