The only matches I get on Tinder these days are hooker spam bots. PGP.

The simple joy of taking your shoes off at your desk. PGP.

Going to the bathroom out of sheer boredom. PGP.

Doing a Tiger pump when you see all the bathroom stalls are empty. PGP.

There’s no way anyone at work could confirm or deny that I was here today. Why am I here? PGP.

Old friends calling. On accident. PGP.

Trading in the beer shits for the coffee ones. PGP.

Got one of those, “I either made lots of friends or ruined friendships night” type of hangovers. PGP.

A 23-year-old just won the World Cup for his country. All I’ve done for mine is pay taxes. PGP.