Occasionally chugging a cheap beer just to feel alive again. PGP.

“Looks like someone isn’t wearing their green today”

In between jobs right now so Paddy’s Day helps me to justify the continuation of binge drinking on my sofa alone. PGP.

My firm’s new cost-cutting strategy is reducing the number of days we have janitors to only 3 days a week. Fortune 500. PGP.

The only productive thing I’ve done today is fill out my bracket. PGP

Margaritas are starting to give me really bad heartburn. PGP.

Manager gave me tickets to the NCAA tournament and a half day off for “networking purposes.” PGPM

I once helped fix the printer for the new office hot girl. I’m now known as “the guy” when the printer takes a shit. PGP.

I’m starting to think I’m getting low T.

Abused so much sick leave in the past that I’m worried my boss won’t believe me now that I’m actually sick.