Got a 2 out of 3 on my performance exam for attendance. I haven’t missed a day of work since 2014. PGP.

Fuck you and your cc-ing habit. PGP.

I used to see Tetris in my sleep when I was a kid. Now I see Excel. PGP

Changing my PGP profile picture is the most productive thing I’ve done all day. PGP

“You surpassed your annual billable hours goal by 35%, so I gave you a performance rating of ‘Meets Expectations’.” PGP.

Joined a Facebook group for my 10 year high school reunion and there are more classmates I don’t remember than ones I do. PGP

I went to bed at halftime last night.

Went to bed at tip off but telling everybody I watched the whole game. PGP.

Girls didn’t look like that when I was in college. PGP

Failed attempts at morning sex before work. PGP.