Today I reported someone for smoking in a non-smoking area. At the age of 24, I have officially sold out. PGP

My boss likes to remind me that I have the lowest level position in the company. #pgp

“You see that blocked kick last night?”

My coworkers joke, but I really do wish this place would burn to the ground. PGP.

Let’s have a moment of silence for all the men planning to “put a ring on it” this month. PGP.

Being too tired to have sex. PGP. Doing it anyway because you stayed the night and don’t want her to think you’ve transitioned into legitimately dating. PGP.