I prefer playing Africa (Toto) on my phone and sobbing quietly, only while using the handicap stall, of course — lest someone match my crushed soul to my shoes.
If you pick one near schools that are separately on the semester and quarter system you’ll have two weeks of happiness. 2/52 weeks of hating, but loving your life at the same time is better than 1 and none.
So whats the tallest height of heels you can wear? I’m curious as to whether you’d break the 1 foot shorter than me mark.
On a side note, I just wasted 5 minutes of my life musing over how long it would take the drivers seat in my car to move between our respective driving positions.
Yeah, I guess I may have been serious about the guns, but with all the anti-firearm sentiment going around I figured I might play along as if something will come of it.
Clearly, you should take the advise of someone on the internet and also implicitly believe they’re being serious. If you were wondering, I’m also an advocate for child soldiers, chemical weapons, and guns, lots of guns.
Re #1: wtf is wrong with you.
Re #2: I am so sorry, but didn’t you goto college? If you don’t keep them awake (sex is one option, slapping them repeatedly is another) drunk girls will mess your bed. Push them out if neither of the above methods are effective.
I can’t read this. Grab a V8 (low sodium, duh) and throw a healthy shot or two of vodka in there, cut up some turkey and low-fat swiss to put on whole grain crackers, THEN GET YOUR ASS TO A SPIN CLASS. Or just run stairs, do pushups, situps, and stop eating 3720984702398 calories. It’s not hard. Coffee helps. So does bud light.
Fuck you, the mason jars from the pasta sauce everyone purchases at costco save me at least 20 trips to the fridge on Sunday while I’m curled up in the fetal position and shaking in the cardboard box I call my home.
Every girl with an online dating profile has at least one of: a cat, a dog, or a horse. Everyone knows bitches with horses are crazy, women couldn’t train a dog if Lassie herself returned from the dead, and men don’t give a shit about cats. These are all major turnoffs. Plus, it’s likely that your apartment and bed are a hairy fucking disaster. Please die, or just be fat so we’re not tempted to jump into the hellhole you call your life.
On second thought, I heard SIDS was a killer out, but you’ll have to really take a hit on your competence level when you’re grilled over why you put your kid face down in a beanbag chair.
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I prefer playing Africa (Toto) on my phone and sobbing quietly, only while using the handicap stall, of course — lest someone match my crushed soul to my shoes.
Impressive. Barely under a foot difference (only if I were barefoot).
If you pick one near schools that are separately on the semester and quarter system you’ll have two weeks of happiness. 2/52 weeks of hating, but loving your life at the same time is better than 1 and none.
So whats the tallest height of heels you can wear? I’m curious as to whether you’d break the 1 foot shorter than me mark.
On a side note, I just wasted 5 minutes of my life musing over how long it would take the drivers seat in my car to move between our respective driving positions.
Yeah, I guess I may have been serious about the guns, but with all the anti-firearm sentiment going around I figured I might play along as if something will come of it.
comes* It’s really bothering me more than the roaches.
Clearly, you should take the advise of someone on the internet and also implicitly believe they’re being serious. If you were wondering, I’m also an advocate for child soldiers, chemical weapons, and guns, lots of guns.
Shit, with my spending habits, I’ve pigeon holed myself to panama city until I’m 33 or get out of shape.
Re #1: wtf is wrong with you.
Re #2: I am so sorry, but didn’t you goto college? If you don’t keep them awake (sex is one option, slapping them repeatedly is another) drunk girls will mess your bed. Push them out if neither of the above methods are effective.
I can’t read this. Grab a V8 (low sodium, duh) and throw a healthy shot or two of vodka in there, cut up some turkey and low-fat swiss to put on whole grain crackers, THEN GET YOUR ASS TO A SPIN CLASS. Or just run stairs, do pushups, situps, and stop eating 3720984702398 calories. It’s not hard. Coffee helps. So does bud light.
Fuck you, the mason jars from the pasta sauce everyone purchases at costco save me at least 20 trips to the fridge on Sunday while I’m curled up in the fetal position and shaking in the cardboard box I call my home.
Every girl with an online dating profile has at least one of: a cat, a dog, or a horse. Everyone knows bitches with horses are crazy, women couldn’t train a dog if Lassie herself returned from the dead, and men don’t give a shit about cats. These are all major turnoffs. Plus, it’s likely that your apartment and bed are a hairy fucking disaster. Please die, or just be fat so we’re not tempted to jump into the hellhole you call your life.
On second thought, I heard SIDS was a killer out, but you’ll have to really take a hit on your competence level when you’re grilled over why you put your kid face down in a beanbag chair.
You know you can’t get an abortion late enough to pull this off without actually having the kid, right?