Don’t worry, I’d take you out to free lunch to save you from that protein bar, and bill it to the company. Reasoning on the back of the receipt: it’s in my best interest, and that of the company, to keep sad girl in cube #641B from going postal, or at least be nice enough so that when she does I’m spared.
But yes, when you were discussing the cheeses so vibrantly, I genuinely thought “wow, this could work out, I love cheese,” then I remembered the section I noted previously.
I was on the fence of “good wife material” and “holy shit, this is depressing”. In the end, this column ripped out my soul and then called in a drone strike on the remainder of my broken body. What sealed the deal is that she eats a shitty lunch… by. herself. every. day.
Having to rely on friends for hookup options is a sad existence indeed. I can’t say it’d drive me to drink alone at an Applebees, because that food is worse than Satan, but pick anywhere else and I’ll gladly bury my face in way too much gin at lunchtime.
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God but she’s hot though.
Do you also wear Hugo Boss?
This can only go so very, very wrong. Brian, test the waters! Behave though, remember the half chub in gym shorts rule to keep it classy.
Brandi actually seems like a winner though.
No first row sports for those games that start during the week before you can hit the bar?
Ahhh, the joys of having a private office with a door and walls of concrete. Feel free to down vote AND SUCK IT.
I don’t either, obviously.
My ex is still the beneficiary on my life policy. It’s 3/4 a mil… but the paperwork. FML.
With Breaking Bad and Dexter over, I never have to watch TV again in my life. Here’s to culturing myself with a drastic increase in porn consumption.
Right next to the lobster tank?
Nowhere are stick trusts mentioned.
Don’t worry, I’d take you out to free lunch to save you from that protein bar, and bill it to the company. Reasoning on the back of the receipt: it’s in my best interest, and that of the company, to keep sad girl in cube #641B from going postal, or at least be nice enough so that when she does I’m spared.
But yes, when you were discussing the cheeses so vibrantly, I genuinely thought “wow, this could work out, I love cheese,” then I remembered the section I noted previously.
You have it even worse off than me, and I thought my law firm was a depressing place to work at 24.
I was on the fence of “good wife material” and “holy shit, this is depressing”. In the end, this column ripped out my soul and then called in a drone strike on the remainder of my broken body. What sealed the deal is that she eats a shitty lunch… by. herself. every. day.
You’re what, 15 then? And you already know you’ll get a JD and be bitter about it? Fucking brilliant sir.
Having to rely on friends for hookup options is a sad existence indeed. I can’t say it’d drive me to drink alone at an Applebees, because that food is worse than Satan, but pick anywhere else and I’ll gladly bury my face in way too much gin at lunchtime.
You don’t have a vagina, therefore you don’t get your way.
Since I’m internet retarded, just click on the link for a 22 second video of my thoughts on the subject.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3B1IQYD4Uew
Who the fuck is Nana and why don’t I get $20 every month?
They started out with Johnnie Walker blue and as time went on they were beat down to black, but in the end it was all still Johnnie Walker (aka crap).