When STD stands for “Save The Date” and not “Sexually Transmitted Disease.” PGP.

Parents bought a pack of batteries for my niece and nephews’ gifts. Took a couple for my vibrator. Happy holidays. PGP.

“You think if I fake my death I can get out of paying back my loans?” PGP.

Got my NYE party invitation. It’s in my company’s warehouse. It’s not a party. It’s inventory and it goes on until 10 p.m. Happy fucking New Year. PGP.

Monday, you son of a bitch. PGP.

I just made an entire meal out of condiments from the break room fridge. PGP.

Work being an excuse to get away from my family during the holidays. PGP.

My boss told me “cost of living doesn’t matter anymore” as he gave me a .5% raise this year. PGP.

I won’t see my first vacation day until June. PGP.

Facebook reminding me that I had a really shitty year. PGP.