My company just implemented a new system to crack down on all non-work related web browsing.

Just found out a coworker snitched on me for leaving 10 minutes early.

Excited to get my wisdom teeth out because I’ll get a 3-day weekend and lose weight.

I’d rather my employer give us good toilet paper than a retirement plan.

“A few questions regarding your expense report.”

Waiting that extra minute in the stall so you don’t have to have an awkward washing your hands conversation with a coworker.