Getting invited on winetasting trips by people who grossly overestimate my salary. PGP.

Still haven’t done my taxes but I do know who has the best crawfish boils in my neighborhood. PGP.

Every hurricane season, I get excited at the chance that my city will be hit and I’ll be able to afford a house afterwards. PGP.

The adrenaline/dopamine rush from bringing a girl home in college now happens when I get more than two squares in a row playing Two Dots. PGP.

My company’s life insurance policy makes me worth more dead than alive. PGP.

LinkedIn recommended my girlfriend connect with my ex. PGP.