My time card is going to require some serious creativity this week.

I put in maybe 3 hours of real work everyday. During my 3 month review, my manager described me as “professional, attentive, and a quick worker.” PGPM?

Found a cheap microwave meal that I actually like, but my coworkers don’t like the smell so I can’t bring it anymore. PGP

Quadruple bogied my quarterly sales review. Pgp.

I don’t want to sleep, I need to sleep

“I’m not sure what your question is.” PGP.

Got a 2 out of 3 on my performance exam for attendance. I haven’t missed a day of work since 2014. PGP.

When I get home from work I use my work laptop to watch Hulu so I appear “online” after hours. PGPM.

ESPN, CNN, BBC, refresh, repeat. PGP.

Saw my boss coming 100ft away but pretended like I didn’t see, and didn’t hold the door for her. PGPM.